Hellloooo? Anyone Down There????

Every now and then I have an experience that I don't really enjoy all that much, but I end up thinking "well if nothing else, this will make for a good blog post". Last night was one of those nights. I was asked to sub in a rink quite a good distance away (over an hour). A few of my QC teammates play with this group during the summer, a group I thought was a league, but it turned out to be more like quasi-pickup hockey. It's mostly girls home from college, with a few older women mixed in. They play 3 periods of running time, and have one ref. It was a pretty decently paced game, and I would have had a lot of fun if not for the bizarre rink conditions.

It was a disgustingly hot and humid day in our area yesterday, and when we got to the rink, we saw that there was quite a bit of fog hovering over the ice surface. By the time we'd dressed and were out for our time slot, it wasn't hovering anymore. It was a dense bank of solid white. I literally couldn't see much further than my own blue line. If there were players in the neutral zone between the red line and our blue line, I could very vaguely make out their shapes. But if they went past the red line, they disappeared completely. The only reason I knew there was a goalie at the other end was because I heard the puck hitting his pads and stick.

It was extremely disorienting, as once play moved out of my zone I basically just had to stand there and wait for players to materialize out of the fog. At least, at first that's what I did. But as you can imagine, if there was that much fog in the rink, it was pretty warm, and eventually my glasses started fogging up as well. The only way I could keep them clear was to keep moving. So while play was in the other end, I'd skate back and forth in front of my net to keep the air flowing over my lenses. It was really frustrating, yet somehow I managed to make several good saves, quite a few on the best player there as well. But between the fog on the ice and on my glasses, the thickness of the air and the fact that there was a hint of mildew hanging around, I was having trouble breathing by the end of the game.

The fog wasn't the only strange thing about the night, either. I actually got my first penalty minutes ever. Don't get too excited, I didn't actually earn them. In fact, if I'd known I was going to get called for this I would have put a little elbow grease into it to make it at least somewhat satisfactory.

I think the best way to describe this is to use MsConduct's favorite illustrative device: the stick figure drawing. Please be nice... I really suck at this.

Frame 1


Frame 2


Yes, that's right. She skated into MY CREASE and tripped over MY LEG as I was doing my goalie thing and moving IN MY CREASE to get set for a shot. I'm pretty sure I heard a splash as she dove onto her stomach. And somehow ***I*** got called for interference on that. Silly me, I guess I should get out of the way of players making a beeline for MY FUCKING CREASE? I chirped about it and one of my D shrugged and said "you might as well have hit her harder". I swear I thought to myself "If gionta182 was here, her head would be exploding right now". Haha.

That was about a minute before the end of the period, and it only got weirder when I got back to the bench. Someone asked me how I was doing, and I said fine, but wasn't sure what that call was all about. One of the players, I think the same D who commented to me that I should have hit her harder, waved my comment off and said "Ah, she's Jewish".

*blink blink*

Then she quickly added "You're not Jewish are you?"

I literally spit out my water. No.... I'm not. But, ummmm.... wtf??? I skated back to the net, played the last period, and wasn't all that sad when it was all over.

I have to tell you, that comment bugged me all day. Why in the world would she pull that out of nowhere? What the hell does that have to do with anything???? I was discussing it with a friend today and she pointed out that the area where the rink is located is known for being a very large Jewish population. Ok... well I guess that kind of explains where that came from but, yeah that really doesn't make it better.

Very, very strange. I don't know if I'll be asked back, but if I am I think I'll pass. That's a really long way to drive to play a game you can't see in a rink you can't breathe in.

And now I'm off for a Hawks game. LET'S KICK IT, BOYS.