Oh wait... I do. But in the gym, eh who cares. People already look at me funny for my bright fuschia Vibram "Five-Fingers" shoes. And I'm sure the myofascial release I've been doing on the foam rollers looks really funny to the people on the treadmills right next to the mats. (I've decided though, that doing the groin muscles is just way too awkward and I won't do those in public). So hey, why not add to the spectacle by doing butterfly slides across the floor.
I had a brainstorm while thinking about making my push stronger. I can't take all the credit, @revcon had a video with something similar, so that's what inspired me. I figured hey, why not kneel on one knee, and put a slide plate under the other foot, and push that leg out and back, to build up the muscle that does that on the ice. Also I can practice bringing my foot close in to my leg each time. It was pretty cool, but I think I'd get more out of it if I could somehow put a weight on the slide plate, but I don't think that will work. I have ankle weights at home, I think I'll try those.
And then I went... heeeyyyyyy waitaminnit! If I put another slide plate under my foot, I can push to the side with my other leg! Just like a butterfly slide! I did a few to each side, and I think that is definitely something I'm going to add to my list of exercises to do. I really should hold my hands in glove/stick position when I do this (maybe with dumbells?). But come on that would look REALLY weird.
(This post brought to you by the fact that my office has no a/c and it's 90* out already, so I flat out refuse to work. I'd leave but I have to wait for the building guy to get here and figure out what the problem is. Woo hoo Monday!)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Fun with the old guys, and: an epiphany
Friday morning open was great. Not only did I skate my tail off (2 straight hours on the ice, SAWEEET), but a bunch of guys I haven't played with in a long time showed up. These guys usually play at another rink but occasionally come to this one. About 2 years ago they were there all the time, and I loved playing with them. They're all very good, most of them play about 4 times a week, and a few have been at pretty high levels at some point or another. But the thing I like about them is that although they take it pretty seriously (always keep score and play til one team gets 5 goals and then reset), they're also pretty laid back. This group has the feel of my old outdoor roller group- everyone ragging on each other and playing each other hard but not dirty (ok THAT sounded dirty), and just overall a great atmosphere. And though I suck compared to them, and 2 years ago I REALLY sucked compared to them, they've never made me feel like shit. So here's to the McKaye guys. (Plus they have a few Russians. And everyone knows I like Russians.)
Given that atmosphere, I was able to relax and just play, not feeling humiliated like I did a month or so ago with all those college kids out there. I didn't play all that great (started out pretty decent but then switched sides to the No-D-Side and that was pretty frustrating), but I figured something out. And that's always good. Now the trick is to figure out how to fix it. Now comes the pretty boring (to non-goalies) technical goalie talk. You plain old skaters can just skip this if you want.
I discovered that I have instinctively been "cheating" on some lateral movements. For some reason, I only to this to the right side. Let's say I'm at the top left corner of my crease, and I have to get over super-quick all the way to the top right corner. (Like you have to do if you have no D. Which is how I figured this out.) If the pass is far enough out I'll just t-push over, no problem. But if it's close in, I end up doing kind of a combination push/butterfly-slide to get over, regardless of how high the puck is going to be. Which puts me at two disadvantages: 1) I'm already down on the ice so it's real easy to flick the puck right over my shoulder, and 2) I never bring that trailing leg close enough to the leading leg to seal up the 5-hole as I'm sliding across.
So, why do I do this instead of some quick shuffles? Because GoalieBrain knows that I'm too slow to get over if I do that, and this is the fastest way for me to get where I need to be. Push, slide. It's worked great for me in the women's league because as a general rule, they don't get the puck up high. So bam, flash, I'm there, and it looks like I made an awesome save. I get away with it sometimes in the men's league, but I get caught a lot on the gaping 5-hole mid-slide. So somehow, I have to come up with a way to be quicker and stronger with my shuffles. Should I be able to go across the whole crease on one shuffle? Or is two acceptable? (Not sure how many it actually takes, I'll have to check next time). Do I need to strengthen my legs more, to get that push? Or do I just need to do it over and over and over to get faster? (I think it's probably option 2). Also, how do I get myself to bring my trailing leg in as I'm sliding? I think I leave it out because then I'm covering more space, but in reality, because I'm not flexible enough to do a split, there's a big hole right there in the middle. And the guys I play with definitely have the aim to put it right through there. (Yeah yeah, again, dirty sounding. It's hockey. Deal.)
I think I need to noodle this around in my brain a bit more until I figure it out. I'm sure repetition to increase muscle memory would be the answer but I don't have that kind of access to ice time (nor do I have the discipline to kick my own ass the way it would have to be kicked to get this done). I think there might be something I can try in the gym, at least for the strength on the push. Bringing the trailing leg over- that's just going to have to be an adjustment that's made on the ice over time I guess. But yay for identifying a problem. That's the first step to fixing it.
Given that atmosphere, I was able to relax and just play, not feeling humiliated like I did a month or so ago with all those college kids out there. I didn't play all that great (started out pretty decent but then switched sides to the No-D-Side and that was pretty frustrating), but I figured something out. And that's always good. Now the trick is to figure out how to fix it. Now comes the pretty boring (to non-goalies) technical goalie talk. You plain old skaters can just skip this if you want.
I discovered that I have instinctively been "cheating" on some lateral movements. For some reason, I only to this to the right side. Let's say I'm at the top left corner of my crease, and I have to get over super-quick all the way to the top right corner. (Like you have to do if you have no D. Which is how I figured this out.) If the pass is far enough out I'll just t-push over, no problem. But if it's close in, I end up doing kind of a combination push/butterfly-slide to get over, regardless of how high the puck is going to be. Which puts me at two disadvantages: 1) I'm already down on the ice so it's real easy to flick the puck right over my shoulder, and 2) I never bring that trailing leg close enough to the leading leg to seal up the 5-hole as I'm sliding across.
So, why do I do this instead of some quick shuffles? Because GoalieBrain knows that I'm too slow to get over if I do that, and this is the fastest way for me to get where I need to be. Push, slide. It's worked great for me in the women's league because as a general rule, they don't get the puck up high. So bam, flash, I'm there, and it looks like I made an awesome save. I get away with it sometimes in the men's league, but I get caught a lot on the gaping 5-hole mid-slide. So somehow, I have to come up with a way to be quicker and stronger with my shuffles. Should I be able to go across the whole crease on one shuffle? Or is two acceptable? (Not sure how many it actually takes, I'll have to check next time). Do I need to strengthen my legs more, to get that push? Or do I just need to do it over and over and over to get faster? (I think it's probably option 2). Also, how do I get myself to bring my trailing leg in as I'm sliding? I think I leave it out because then I'm covering more space, but in reality, because I'm not flexible enough to do a split, there's a big hole right there in the middle. And the guys I play with definitely have the aim to put it right through there. (Yeah yeah, again, dirty sounding. It's hockey. Deal.)
I think I need to noodle this around in my brain a bit more until I figure it out. I'm sure repetition to increase muscle memory would be the answer but I don't have that kind of access to ice time (nor do I have the discipline to kick my own ass the way it would have to be kicked to get this done). I think there might be something I can try in the gym, at least for the strength on the push. Bringing the trailing leg over- that's just going to have to be an adjustment that's made on the ice over time I guess. But yay for identifying a problem. That's the first step to fixing it.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Gettin' my mean on
I don't really want to dwell on last night's game. I've gone over the goals in my head and I'm satisfied that I know what I'd do differently on the 2 I had a chance on. Yeah... it was another high-scoring game, big ol' 6-2 loss. The screwed up thing is, I felt like I played extremely well. I was in the zone, I had attitude, I was making really good saves, I was even decent playing the puck. Oh and I unleashed my inner Billy Smith too.
I know I need to be meaner and protect my space better. Last night, I did it. Started with one guy who skated a little too close to me and as I was moving to the post my stick blade caught his ankle. Accidentally. But once I felt it I didn't do much about moving it out of the way. He stumbled, but didn't fall. I probably would have been called if he fell. But it was enough to interfere with him getting to the puck behind the net.
There were several ankle whacks to dudes who didn't get the hint from my D and move their asses. There was a good healthy shove to the kidneys. But the best one was the bide-my-time-and-get-you-back cup check on this one dude. Early in the 3rd the puck was frozen on the side of the net, and I was holding the post. As the whistle blew, Punkass took a good whack in the general direction of the side of the net, which meant he hit me square across the chest. I'm not too sure why no one else saw that. But I took his number, got my chance to repay him toward the end of the game. He was just outside the crease, starting to back in, and I could tell from where the puck was that I had a second of time, so as he backed in I got my stick all up in his junk. Oh yeah, he skated away. That *definitely* would have been a penalty if the ref had been able to see it. But hey, you dish it out, you're going to have to take it. I want Pavlov forwards, veering away from the crease because they know it will hurt to skate near it.
Yeah yeah, I know. Only in my imagination am I anywhere near that tough. Truthfully I'm a freakin pansy. But I'm working on it. So this video showing up in my twitter stream this morning was pretty timely. I've seen all of these before but man, they just never get old! (And there's Tuukka.)
[edit]*** My apologies, I forgot to mention where I saw this on my twitter stream. It came from GoalieCrease.
I know I need to be meaner and protect my space better. Last night, I did it. Started with one guy who skated a little too close to me and as I was moving to the post my stick blade caught his ankle. Accidentally. But once I felt it I didn't do much about moving it out of the way. He stumbled, but didn't fall. I probably would have been called if he fell. But it was enough to interfere with him getting to the puck behind the net.
There were several ankle whacks to dudes who didn't get the hint from my D and move their asses. There was a good healthy shove to the kidneys. But the best one was the bide-my-time-and-get-you-back cup check on this one dude. Early in the 3rd the puck was frozen on the side of the net, and I was holding the post. As the whistle blew, Punkass took a good whack in the general direction of the side of the net, which meant he hit me square across the chest. I'm not too sure why no one else saw that. But I took his number, got my chance to repay him toward the end of the game. He was just outside the crease, starting to back in, and I could tell from where the puck was that I had a second of time, so as he backed in I got my stick all up in his junk. Oh yeah, he skated away. That *definitely* would have been a penalty if the ref had been able to see it. But hey, you dish it out, you're going to have to take it. I want Pavlov forwards, veering away from the crease because they know it will hurt to skate near it.
Yeah yeah, I know. Only in my imagination am I anywhere near that tough. Truthfully I'm a freakin pansy. But I'm working on it. So this video showing up in my twitter stream this morning was pretty timely. I've seen all of these before but man, they just never get old! (And there's Tuukka.)
[edit]*** My apologies, I forgot to mention where I saw this on my twitter stream. It came from GoalieCrease.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
LOOK AT MAH BELLY!
You know how you'd expect a friend to let you know if you had a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth? Well I'm a little embarassed today because I realized for the last few weeks I've been skating around with spinach in my teeth and no one told me. See, a month or so ago the Hawks got our spiffy new jerseys. They're really good quality, and they look pretty damn sharp. See? Here comes trouble...
The problem with mine was, since it was goalie-cut, it was way too long and came down past the tops of my pads. No problem, right? I sew. Easy as pie.
Except I forgot that whole "measure twice cut once" rule. A smart person would have put the jersey on their chest protector and figured out from there how much to cut off. Instead I just thought, eh 4" sounds about right. Snip snip snip. After a small battle with my sewing machine, it was hemmed. Ta da! Yeah. Too bad when I actually put it on with all my gear it was way too short, but still being very wide and drapey, the way it hung made it look like the goalie equivalent of a belly shirt.
I thought maybe it wasn't that noticeable. I asked a teammate or two.. "is this too short?" ... I guess not wanting to offend me they said no. Ok people. You've known me for like 4 years. You don't know by now to give it to me straight and not sugar-coat it? It's ok though, them wanting to spare my feelings is kind of touching. I've been playing with it like that for about a month, and I don't know why but last night I just realized how absolutely ridiculous I look and that maybe I should cough up the cash and get a new one. I emailed Senator to ask him about it, and it turns out he had just been talking to his wife about this very topic last night. (His wife, who is also a very close friend of mine. Ha. Tell me there's not a mind-meld going on there!)
Oh boy. Guess I was looking pretty silly out there. I'm not sure why it took me a month to figure it out but I'm glad I did. There's really no need for a goalie in a half-jersey. (Actually. I could think of a few that I wouldn't mind seeing....) It's probably nowhere near as bad as I'm making it sound (I hope), but you can bet your ass I'll be sporting a simple practice jersey until the new one comes in.
*Full credit to #14 for the photo. On the IR for 100 days with a broken ankle, he'll be hitting the ice with us again this weekend. Welcome back!
The problem with mine was, since it was goalie-cut, it was way too long and came down past the tops of my pads. No problem, right? I sew. Easy as pie.
Except I forgot that whole "measure twice cut once" rule. A smart person would have put the jersey on their chest protector and figured out from there how much to cut off. Instead I just thought, eh 4" sounds about right. Snip snip snip. After a small battle with my sewing machine, it was hemmed. Ta da! Yeah. Too bad when I actually put it on with all my gear it was way too short, but still being very wide and drapey, the way it hung made it look like the goalie equivalent of a belly shirt.
I thought maybe it wasn't that noticeable. I asked a teammate or two.. "is this too short?" ... I guess not wanting to offend me they said no. Ok people. You've known me for like 4 years. You don't know by now to give it to me straight and not sugar-coat it? It's ok though, them wanting to spare my feelings is kind of touching. I've been playing with it like that for about a month, and I don't know why but last night I just realized how absolutely ridiculous I look and that maybe I should cough up the cash and get a new one. I emailed Senator to ask him about it, and it turns out he had just been talking to his wife about this very topic last night. (His wife, who is also a very close friend of mine. Ha. Tell me there's not a mind-meld going on there!)
Oh boy. Guess I was looking pretty silly out there. I'm not sure why it took me a month to figure it out but I'm glad I did. There's really no need for a goalie in a half-jersey. (Actually. I could think of a few that I wouldn't mind seeing....) It's probably nowhere near as bad as I'm making it sound (I hope), but you can bet your ass I'll be sporting a simple practice jersey until the new one comes in.
*Full credit to #14 for the photo. On the IR for 100 days with a broken ankle, he'll be hitting the ice with us again this weekend. Welcome back!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Frustration and jock-flinging
I love my team, but it really seems like it's starting to dissolve and that really, truly sucks. Big hairy ones. Last night we had 8 skaters. While this was an all-time low it's certainly not far off from our typical 9 or 10 guys. And yet every week the other bench is full. It's summer. People are on vacation, people have families and commitments, shit happens (injury/illness). But all that stuff affects other teams too, no? So why is it we're the only team in the league icing 9 guys every week? It's frustrating as hell.
So yeah, we lost last night, but we lost 6-4 with only 8 skaters against a crammed full bench on the other side. That's not too damn shabby. I really felt for the guys too, they were absolutely winded. At the final buzzer one guy just sank down to the ice at the goal line. I guess it's because of their tremendous effort that I feel like I didn't really pull my weight. I was playing too deep (apparently- two shots in a row went right over my stick-side shoulder) and twice I wasn't quick enough to cover a weird bounce.
On the plus side, I had two really good breakaway saves... but that doesn't really seem to offer much consolation. I wish I had done more.
But since I don't want to be a complete cranky brooding goalie, I'll at least include some humor from the locker room. First off- you know you're old when one of your teammates misses the game because of prom weekend. Some of the guys actually thought Senator was joking when he ran through the list of who wouldn't be there, and said The Kid was out because of prom. I still don't know why that kid puts up with us. It's gotta at least be mildly entertaining.
And thank god I'm already married because I'm fairly sure that in some countries I'd be married to OysterBoy at this moment. (So named because of one unfortunately unforgettable incident where he'd bragged that he'd eaten a bucket of oysters that day... and promptly puked them up in the locker room after the game). I was working on unbuckling my pads when I felt something land on my foot. I looked up and saw OysterBoy's jock. I could tell he didn't throw it at me intentionally by the way he quickly grabbed it and shoved it into his bag while I laughed my ass off.
I guess that's why this team rules. Even if we lose, I have fun being around them, dick jokes and all.
So yeah, we lost last night, but we lost 6-4 with only 8 skaters against a crammed full bench on the other side. That's not too damn shabby. I really felt for the guys too, they were absolutely winded. At the final buzzer one guy just sank down to the ice at the goal line. I guess it's because of their tremendous effort that I feel like I didn't really pull my weight. I was playing too deep (apparently- two shots in a row went right over my stick-side shoulder) and twice I wasn't quick enough to cover a weird bounce.
On the plus side, I had two really good breakaway saves... but that doesn't really seem to offer much consolation. I wish I had done more.
But since I don't want to be a complete cranky brooding goalie, I'll at least include some humor from the locker room. First off- you know you're old when one of your teammates misses the game because of prom weekend. Some of the guys actually thought Senator was joking when he ran through the list of who wouldn't be there, and said The Kid was out because of prom. I still don't know why that kid puts up with us. It's gotta at least be mildly entertaining.
And thank god I'm already married because I'm fairly sure that in some countries I'd be married to OysterBoy at this moment. (So named because of one unfortunately unforgettable incident where he'd bragged that he'd eaten a bucket of oysters that day... and promptly puked them up in the locker room after the game). I was working on unbuckling my pads when I felt something land on my foot. I looked up and saw OysterBoy's jock. I could tell he didn't throw it at me intentionally by the way he quickly grabbed it and shoved it into his bag while I laughed my ass off.
I guess that's why this team rules. Even if we lose, I have fun being around them, dick jokes and all.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
So yeah, about those pants...
Funny thing about sizing charts on hockey retailer's sites. They're not meant for chicks. Since everything else in the universe in a senior size is too big for me, I figured intermediate would be a no-brainer. I looked at the size chart, which went solely by waist measurement, and that lil bugger said I should buy a size small. In intermediate. I wasn't too sure about that but hey, I'm sick of swimming in my gear. So int-small I ordered.
Annnnnd then I opened up the box. The much anticipated box, I might add. I was pretty excited about these pants. (Yes, it's pretty easy to please me. Buy me gear. Or beer, that works too, and it rhymes.) So yeah I open up this box and.... inside is a teeny tiny itty bitty pair of goalie pants. Like, I had to look at the tag on the inside to make sure they didn't send me a junior small. I really think these pants would fit no one bigger than an 8 year old boy. I should have known. If you have a 27" waist you must also have very short legs, narrow hips and no butt.
I'm not really complaining about the size chart. I understand that 98.55735% of the people who buy gear are males. And fortunately, Goalie Monkey's customer service pretty much rocks. I emailed them, explained my problem, and asked if they had any other measurements to go by on the pants other than waist size. I figured I'd just exchange them for a senior small and hope those weren't too big. But I got back a really nice long email from the head of customer service, explaining about size charts being based on male measurements, and the differences in females' bodies (um, thanks. i have one of those. i know what it's like) and asked me a bunch of questions and said he'll work with me to find a pair that fit. Figures, pants are apparently one of the things you need most to try on to get a good fit. Add having a girlish figure to that equation and no wonder I ended up with the completely wrong size.
And yes, it's this dude's job to make a sale. But he could have just written back and said "Yeah try a senior small. Here's how to exchange them." But he didn't. So, hopefully, even if it takes a little time, I will a nice snug protective pair of pants in my future. I don't even care what color they are. Well, as long as they're not pink. There's no pink on this goalie, ever. (Ok maybe my "fun panties" had some pink in them but shhhhh...)
Annnnnd then I opened up the box. The much anticipated box, I might add. I was pretty excited about these pants. (Yes, it's pretty easy to please me. Buy me gear. Or beer, that works too, and it rhymes.) So yeah I open up this box and.... inside is a teeny tiny itty bitty pair of goalie pants. Like, I had to look at the tag on the inside to make sure they didn't send me a junior small. I really think these pants would fit no one bigger than an 8 year old boy. I should have known. If you have a 27" waist you must also have very short legs, narrow hips and no butt.
I'm not really complaining about the size chart. I understand that 98.55735% of the people who buy gear are males. And fortunately, Goalie Monkey's customer service pretty much rocks. I emailed them, explained my problem, and asked if they had any other measurements to go by on the pants other than waist size. I figured I'd just exchange them for a senior small and hope those weren't too big. But I got back a really nice long email from the head of customer service, explaining about size charts being based on male measurements, and the differences in females' bodies (um, thanks. i have one of those. i know what it's like) and asked me a bunch of questions and said he'll work with me to find a pair that fit. Figures, pants are apparently one of the things you need most to try on to get a good fit. Add having a girlish figure to that equation and no wonder I ended up with the completely wrong size.
And yes, it's this dude's job to make a sale. But he could have just written back and said "Yeah try a senior small. Here's how to exchange them." But he didn't. So, hopefully, even if it takes a little time, I will a nice snug protective pair of pants in my future. I don't even care what color they are. Well, as long as they're not pink. There's no pink on this goalie, ever. (Ok maybe my "fun panties" had some pink in them but shhhhh...)
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