Greetings, old friend(s)

Making this blog as public as I have has been a bit of a double edged sword. It's neat that my friends and teammates can read it and comment on it, and it's fun knowing other goalies and goalie fans across cyber space have stumbled onto it, either through twitter or other means. Unfortunately it also means that I censored myself quite a bit this season, and haven't felt comfortable voicing all of my thoughts here, knowing that a lot of people I know could possibly read them. I know... that's the whole point of a blog, right? But I really miss it, and so I'm going to try to find that balance between musing/sharing my thoughts and remembering that other people besides me are reading this.

Since my last post was about the all star weekend, I might as well do a quick season wrap-up. As you may recall, I split my time between two teams, the Red team (club team, not in the league) and the White team (in the White D1 division). I'm terrible and don't know the records offhand, but I believe the Red team finished something like 10-10-5. It was a very interesting season, because we had several new players. Two completely brand new to playing hockey, and one who had played elsewhere but had been off for a few years. The difference between that first practice and our last one was simply amazing. Tons of credit to GoalieHusband (head coach of the team) and Hkygrl12 (assistant coach) for teaching them so well. It was a little strange at first, having a very different group of people after the new (White) team was formed, but we really came together. We went to a tournament in February and all the rookies were with us, and what a blast we had. I think the tournament is what sealed the closeness within the team.

The White team finished first in the D1 division. Finishing first is accomplishment enough, but doing so your first season in the league, and your first season as a team, no less, is pretty exciting. There was the same get-to-know-you period going on with the White team, as we had some people formerly on the Red team, some formerly on the Blue team, and a few new members as well. I'm proud to say that team became just as tight as the Red team, and even better, both teams intermingle socially to the point where it just feels like one giant team. Actually it feels like a family. If someone had told me that I'd be feeling like this at the end of this season I wouldn't have believed them, given how unsure everyone was of how the 3-team system was going to work. Watching one teammate go through a difficult time off the ice and seeing how she was taken under the wing of one of the veterans, and generally supported by the whole team, was really moving. Hockey really is an incredible community.

Erm.... where was I? Oh right, the end of the White season. I probably veered off because I don't really want to think about how it ended (ice-wise).  We went to the semi-final as the first seeded team, playing the fourth. In truth, I think we took the other team a little lightly. I think our success went to our heads a little and we were looking past that game to the championship game. I think given our circumstances it was kind of understandable that we were all a little giddy. Unfortunately we didn't expect the other team to be as physical and tenacious as they were (they hadn't played that way during the season) and it kind of set us back on our heels a little. The final score was 4-2. I couldn't get off that ice fast enough. I felt like the entire weight of the result was on my shoulders. When we got into the locker room it was very quiet, and I felt tears coming on (wtf??!?) and buried my head. Someone said "no one in this room should hang their heads, we had an incredible season" and I just lost it.  I was off in my own little world of self-recrimination, sobbing quietly in the corner, head down so others wouldn't see me, and the next thing I knew a teammate was draped over me, enclosing me in a giant hug, and telling me I had NOTHING to be upset about, that we win and lose as a team. I actually don't even really remember exactly what she said, I just remember the feeling of her arms around me and the support coming off of her. I'm getting teary just thinking about it now. I eventually calmed down enough to be joking ruefully with everyone else. I'll tell you something though, mine were not the only eyes rimmed in red when we left that locker room. No crying in hockey, my ass. Losing like that really, really stung.

That loss, that feeling, and the very serendipitous timing of @revcon's special offer for the Ultimate Goalie Training VIP program prompted me to get my ass back into training. No more slacking. For whatever reason, ever since I came back from the knee injury, I just could not get back into a consistent rhythm working out. I'd get all gung-ho and get myself to the gym a few days one week, and then it was back to hitting the snooze button and feeling like a slacker and a slug all day.

So what's different about UGT VIP? Don't I already have a full UGT program sitting downstairs gathering dust? The thing that I think is the key with this one is the interactive coaching aspect of it. This program is a monthly one, paid for in installments. It's a six-phase program, one phase per month. You get access to the training logs, videos, etc for the phase of training you're doing, plus an online forum for members and a monthly webinar with Maria. It's fantastic. I know I should be my own motivator, but having the accountability component to this is what I think is making the difference for me. And I was lucky enough to jump on board when she was offering the program at an extremely discounted rate. It certainly wouldn't be feasible for me otherwise.

It's been a week and I'm loving it. I'm doing the in-season schedule instead of the off-season schedule because of all the tournaments. I also wanted to make it more realistic- if I went full bore on the off-season schedule I think I'd have a much higher chance of slacking off and having it fall by the wayside. And in response to a forum post about my motivation concerns, Maria said to set a goal for the next 30 days, and hold myself accountable. If I don't achieve that goal what will I give up? You have to set that ahead of time, to make it concrete. So I've made my goal to stick to the schedule for 30 days. If I fail at that, I will not be allowed to buy Dunkin Donuts coffee on my way to work for a whole month. (Believe me, that's a sacrifice. I think they put crack in it).

So you read it here. Now I'm accountable to myself, the UGT team, and all my blog readers. If that doesn't motivate me, I don't know what will. Oh yeah.... that awful feeling in the locker room after that loss. Nothing inspires victory like the bitter feeling of defeat. Look out, bitches. I know it's a team sport but I'm working my ass off right now to be the best goalie I can possibly be. No excuses.

PS - Back in Florida for Nationals in 10 days. We got bumped up a level after winning it all last year, so we have our work cut out for us. Stay tuned.