Growing pains

I knew, as soon as I answered that insistent voice deep inside that demanded I get onto the ice, that I would have a hard decision to make at some point. I put it off as long as I could, but I think the time has come where I have to face the fact that I need to choose between roller hockey and ice hockey.

On Thursday night, I played outdoor roller hockey for the first time in about three weeks. I was really looking forward to it, because there are several people that play pretty much strictly roller, who I haven't seen in a while because I've been playing so much ice. When I first started playing ice, I said I would still play in our Sunday morning roller games, because I like the group and the atmosphere so much. And at that point, I either didn't play as much ice, or wasn't as comfortable on it, and switching back and forth posed no problem. But on Thursday night it became very clear to me that trying to do both will only hurt my game in both in the long run.

After three weeks away from wheels and cement, my body forgot the physics of the situation, and that wheels don't slide sideways across cement like a skate blade does on ice. I'd have a skater bearing down on me, and I would instinctively try to push my foot to the side- only, nothing would happen. Except for the puck going past me and into the net. Just moving around in the crease in general felt so awkward. It's interesting that I'd been thinking to myself even days before "I want to get to the point on ice where I'm as comfortable as I am on wheels". Well, I suppose I have gotten to that point without even realizing it. Because I felt like a fish out of water on Thursday.

A lot of our ice guys came out for the roller game, and though they had a bit of adjusting to do, by all accounts they really enjoyed it. Not so much for me. I face the very real possibility of getting hurt trying to do something I'd do on ice, on the pavement. The differences between roller and ice are so much more pronounced for a goalie.

So now I have to face the fact that I will probably be drifting away from the roller group. I hate that it's happening, but I feel like it has to be either one or the other for me. I will try another roller game and see how it goes, but I think this is not an uncommon decision to have to make. I was advised by several people on a hockey message board that going back and forth just doesn't work. At first I thought they were wrong- I wasn't having any problem with it! But now I have to grudgingly admit that they were right. I'll miss the guys at the outdoor rink. I'm sure I'll show up now and then, but it's certainly not going to be a weekly thing like it had been for me.

Post Script

I got so caught up in thinking about weird habits that I forgot to mention the outcome of the game. We tied, 4-4. On the whole, our team didn't have a great game. However, I thought I played really well, particularly in the 2nd period when for some reason I faced a lot of breakaways. On one of them, I made the best save I think I've ever made. The shooter was coming in on my left, but started to move across me to my right, and at that point seemed close enough that if I dropped down I'd have the best chance of making the save, but I kept my glove hand stretched out and up high... and viola! The most awesome glove save I've ever made! In my mind it looked like this:


Even though in reality I wasn't looking at my glove like I should have been, nor was I anywhere near that poised, but that's how it felt. And realizing I had the puck in my glove and bringing it quickly to my chest felt even better. Awww yeah, #16... I don't think so!!! ;)

Summer Season Game 3 - The Matinee

Most of the Red Hawks' games have been quite late at night, with the earliest ever being 8:20pm, and it was only one game at that. This season we managed to swing two early games, with a 7:30 pm faceoff. Most people would be thrilled with this quirk in the schedule. But I am not most people.


I've developed into a routine of sorts with these games. Come home from work, crash for about 20 minutes, eat, pack the gear, and head out. Or, if it's a very late game, like 10 or 11pm, hang around for a bit, then head out. Regardless of who drives, the 40 minute trip gives me time to listen to a favorite CD and zone out a bit, which allows me to focus. But this.... this 7:30 business is something different entirely! Because I work close to the arena, it didn't make sense to go home and then come back (nor would I have the time to do that). So I had to amend my routine, which made me a little jumpy, and it got me thinking about all those supposed "weird quirks" that goalies have.


I think the days of the truly nutty goaltender are over, thanks to the advent of masks and superior quality protective equipment. Now you don't have to be insane to stand in front of speeding pucks. Gone are the days of goalies knitting caps or completely stripping out of gear and clothes and showering, only to re-clothe and re-gear themselves, all in the 15 minute break between periods. Sure, goalies are still probably a little more superstitious than the average joe on the whole, but standing on an empty bench meditating minutes before the game, or spending time sitting in empty seats in the arena and taping your stick are pretty calm and almost make sense in comparison to those older whackjobs.

Sometimes it seems that people think you have to have strange habits or compulsions to be a goaltender. On one message board where I was talking to some young women just starting out, I actually read a post by one of them that said something like "oh I'm sure I'll have all kinds of really weird superstitions!". I didn't even bother to point out that it doesn't work like that. You don't go into it looking for something to make you "kooky". I think what it boils down to is comfort and reassurance - just like my routine for late night games has become something familiar and comforting for me. I have a mantra of sorts, that I keep running through my head during games. It's not because I think it has magical properties or will make me play better in and of itself, but it helps me focus because it takes the blabbering, wandering part of my brain and gives it something to do while the rest of my brain can focus on the task at hand. If my mind doesn't start wandering to the last save or goal, or jumping ahead to the next period, or even going so far astray as to wonder about what I'll have to eat when I get home, then it can't distract me. If it's busy mumbling a memorized set of words, then I don't have to worry about psyching myself out over an opponent's obvious skill.

That's really all it's about. And listening to particular songs in the car on the ride there get me in the groove and start the process of focusing. But come on.... even if I did do something really bizarre, you don't think I'd tell you, do you? I mean, that would just flat out be bad luck!

Lesson learned- the hard way

When I went to Goalie Coach Dude for my lesson several months ago, one of the things we worked on were something called "T-pushes"; a way to glide a longer distance than just a side-to-side shuffle. This involves pushing off with one foot and putting all your weight on the other as you glide to one side, and then quickly snap that foot forward, bringing yourself to a concise stop. One way to practice these is to completely lift your non-weightbearing foot off the ice, to hone your sense of balance, and skate and stop all on one leg, like a very awkward and confused flamingo. When the other goalie and I looked dubious, he encouraged us to try it. "Don't be afraid to fall," he said. "You have plenty of padding on." And fall I did. But I could instantly see the benefit. Not only would that exercise improve that particular technique, it would improve my balance as well.

Most of the time that I go to open hockey, it's very busy. However, now and then there will be an odd session with only enough people for 3-on-2 on one side of the ice, or just messing around taking shots, etc. During those sessions I usually go off to one side and work a little on my footwork, still trying to get to the comfort level on ice skates that I have on roller blades. This morning was one of those times; only 4 people beside me were there, with a 5th showing up about a half hour into it.

Normally, I'm a stickler for safety, especially with helmets. Watching one's husband get several concussions tends to do this to a person, but I'm also aware that head injuries are the kinds of things that can happen to anyone, no matter how good a skater, and can have life-altering consequences, unlike a sprained knee or wrist. Unfortunately for some reason during a water break I'd taken my glove, blocker and mask off and was still skating around on the ice. Even more unfortunately I decided that moment was a good one to try out the one-legged T-push exercise. The first one went off without a hitch. The second one... well, as my legs went out from under me I heard Goalie Coach Dude's voice in my head saying "Don't be afraid to fall.. you've got plenty of-" Uh oh. I landed on my butt and back and the momentum brought the back of my head down onto the ice with a hard, dull "thwack".

I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain and instant nausea and rolled over onto my stomach as Goalie Husband rushed off the bench to my side. He asked if I was ok and I said no, but managed to convey that relatively speaking yes, I was ok, and pulled myself up onto my knees to demonstrate. The nausea receded and my head hurt like hell but I didn't have any dizziness or other concussive symptoms, so I sat on the bench for a moment and relaxed before heading back out onto the ice. With my mask on. Not only was I an idiot for skating around without my mask, but I was really asking for trouble by attempting that particular exercise. I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously, I wasn't. Thankfully I wasn't hurt, but it knocked enough sense into me to know that I'll be wearing my mask anytime I step on the ice again. Take note, kids.

Tennis, anyone?

Goalie Husband and I were getting pretty antsy last night, not having played any hockey since Monday. No doubt inspired by a conversation we'd had with Senator a few nights prior, Goalie Husband got the idea to root out his old rackets from whichever dark corner of the basement they were hiding and head up to the tennis courts at the park near our house. We had a can of tennis balls, which I'd bought with the intent of perfecting my hand-eye coordination by throwing them against a wall and catching them. I did that a few times, and I did see how it would be beneficial, but I never kept up with it, much to my virtual goalie coach's chagrin.

It was getting close to dusk, but we walked up to the park anyway, and I started to get that nervous feeling I always get when I try something new. "I hope no one else is there," I said. "Oh no, there's houses right across from the courts! They can all see us!", I fretted. Goalie Husband told me to knock it off, and showed me how to hold the racket. It felt totally foreign in my hand, despite having played tennis for a few weeks in summer school when I was about 12 years old. And I was dreadful. At least I could actually make contact with the ball (most of the time), but the finer points of where and how to hit it obviously take some practice and the ball went wildly all over the place. I was very frustrated and embarrassed, sure that the people across the street were pointing out their windows (from behind the curtains) and laughing. But I eventually loosened up, and we even managed to volley the ball back and forth a few times before it went out of bounds and into the neighboring court.... or over the fence.

By then however, it was getting pretty dark, and the half-light was playing tricks with our depth perception. It wasn't much of a workout, because we weren't really trying particularly hard, but it was a good experience and I think we'll probably keep at it. It's something a little different that will keep us active and help with hockey. I certainly won't be abandoning my goalie gear for a cute little white skirt, but it will be something we can do on a moment's notice, since we live so close to the courts.

That said.... I'm dying for some ice time. Thankfully there's open hockey tonight. We're going to a different rink than the one we usually go to, and by all accounts, it'll be a very fast game. I hope I can keep my head above water and manage to do all right and keep on racking up experience and practice.

Summer Season Game 2 - The Natives Get Restless

The Red Hawks' second outing resulted in another win (8-5) that even though was against a more equal opponent, still left several team members feeling not quite right. Cap (who's nickname comes in reference to his favorite player, Mats Sundin) waited until most of the team was gone, and only a few of us from the original roller hockey group remained, to vent his concerns. His were the same as mine- we were starting to feel a little uneasy, like we had too many "ringers" on the team. The fact is, we only have 3, when other teams have probably 2. I think what makes the difference is our chemistry. Not only have we bonded as a team, we PLAY like one, looking for open players to pass to, making the right play instead of the selfish one (most of the time), and our Saturday morning practices seem to be paying off as well.

We've played two games, and each time racked up a bunch of goals in the first period, only to give some back towards the middle of the game. The first game, this was more the fault of the "coach" than of the team getting lazy. But last week, the momentum shifted and we suddenly weren't as strong in either end. Yes, we have two "W's" on the scoresheet. But what bothers me is that we had 5 goals against in each of those games. Some were the result of outright stupidity on my part, or poor positioning. But some were rebounds, and some were just really good goals. If I can cut down on the ones that are blatant mistakes on my part, I think we'll do a lot better in that regard.

Our next game is an early one, at 7:30pm. Because of the convenient time, we'll probably have a few fans in attendance. Hopefully, we'll continue our winning streak, and not end up eating a big slice of humble pie in front of our friends and family.

Summer Season- Game 1

(Written 7/3/07)

The Hawks, renamed for the summer season as the "Red Hawks" (wow that was a tough one to come up with) had our first game of the summer season last night. Though it was a decisive win (10-4), there wasn't much jubilation in the locker room afterwards. Our opponents had such a short bench that they only had 2 subs. Apparently, their missing players were also their best ones. Had they had their full complement of players, it would have been a much closer and more interesting game.

But, things being as they were, we steamrolled them. I was actually pretty bored for most of the game, though the long stretches of inactivity allowed me to attempt to dull my recently-sharpened skate blades. (I had them done at 5/8ths, which I've had done the last three times I've had them sharpened. But they must have been cut deeper, because the edges were so sharp I couldn't slide from side to side.) We were up either 6-0 or 7-0, at this point I don't remember, in the 2nd period when a screened shot got past me. And from there things seemed to go downhill. At one point they'd come back to the tune of 7-4, which I just couldn't understand. How was it that this team, with only two subs, was coming back to beat us at the end of the game? It just didn't make sense.

I got my clarification after the game- apparently in the 2nd period our "coach" for the night instructed the team to stop shooting, in order to salvage the ego of the opposing goalie. He was adamant about this tack, even though Goalie Husband protested and pointed out that it was more embarrassing to be playing against a team that wasn't trying. Understandably, our game suffered from that point on, with players not quite sure how to handle backing off in one end, and hustling in the other. Three more goals piled up, and then our guys turned the jets back on again.

Even more confusing was our final goal (scored by #14) to make it a double-digit game. It came with about 6 seconds left on the clock, but the clock didn't stop and the ref dropped the puck, with everyone kind of unsure of what was going on, including me. An opponent's light shot from somewhere around center ice ended up behind me and in the net as the buzzer sounded. I'd gone down for it, but I was slightly too late. That really bugged me, as did the fact that a team who played as poorly as they did got 5 goals (or even 4, if you don't count that one) off us. Off me. I felt I'd played an awful game. I have no idea how many shots I had, but it couldn't have been more than ten. Wonderful way to start the season... but as I told Senator, it counts the same in the standings as a come-from-behind-win, so we best put it behind us and get ready to face our next opponents.