Boys are gross

As is my custom, after open hockey today I found an empty locker room and locked myself inside so I could clean the streaks of salt off my body. The rink felt warmer than usual today. That, and playing the full session with no breaks left my gear drenched and my glasses fogged. (Can I blame my poor play on my foggy lenses?) I was anticipating the sense of relief one gets by a nice shower after a hard workout, but that was marred when as soon as I soaped myself up I noticed a very suspicious brown glob smeared on the shower wall at eye level.

I stopped at the desk on the way out and mentioned my discovery to the two female and one male standing around looking bored. They all looked thoroughly disgusted when I left the desk, as well they should. I can't even fathom, nor do I really want to, why something like that would be in a spot like that. It wasn't on the floor. It wasn't even at ass-level. Someone had to have had it on their hand in order for it to be where it was. *shudder*

Needless to say, I took another shower when I got home. It's hard to feel clean when you're showering with a shitstain.

I'm not the only one

Apparently, it's not just me who thinks the Vaughn 7500 / 7400's are Awesome Pads. Goalie Husband and I went to our local hockey shop recently to take a look at what they had in stock. Specifically, I was interested in seeing a pair of Bauer Supremes. Unfortunately they didn't have much in stock, and nothing in my size. Everything they had was pretty much kid size, and mostly Itech and RBK. When I first went to ice, I bought my mask and my pads at this store, so the woman there knows me. We chatted a bit about what I was looking for, and she saw me eyeballing a set of Vaughns (some other model, not the 7400s) and said "I think I know what you're looking for", and set down a book in front of me, opened to the page with the Awesome Pads. I laughed and told her those were actually the ones I'd had my eye on for a while, but there was no way I could afford them. She said the super expensive ones are the 7500s, the pro stock. But the 7400s are a step down from those and in the affordable range (affordable in terms of goalie pads anyway). We talked a bit more, and she looked to see if her rep had my size in stock (he does, just not the color I want- I'm not picky as long as the background is white. These had black backgrounds).

What I found really interesting was that she said she had a bunch of high school kids coming in and asking about them, as well as guys in rec leagues. So she'd been considering ordering a bunch from the rep, because she can get a decent discount with a certain amount of order. I told her I'd definitely be interested but didn't want to flat out say yes without trying them on, which she totally understood. She said that wouldn't be a problem at all because in my size, and the color I want (basically neutral), even if I didn't buy them she'd be able to move them.

Another thing I found interesting was having my suspicions/opinions about the quality of different brands confirmed. The very low-end Itechs I have now have been great for what I bought them for; something cheap to get me on the ice. I've beat the hell out of them, playing 3 times a week for a year and a half in them, and it's really starting to show. Certain parts of the padding are starting to break down, and some of the stitching is coming out. They're just not a very good quality pad at all. Of course, you get what you pay for. These were $300 and I've more than gotten my money's worth out of them. I told her that's what I was using and she showed me the next few models up from that but said she wouldn't even waste her money on them; and flipped them over and showed me why. Certain parts of the straps just won't last, especially as much as I play. Itech is a leader in masks. In pads... they have long way to go. I'd kind of figured that out on my own. I also figured Vaughn was a real quality brand, just from eyeballing other goalie's pads, and reading stuff online. She confirmed that as well, without me asking.

So, it looks like there might be a set of Awesome Pads in my future!!! They're pricey. But they will absolutely last me the rest of my hockey playing days, no question about it. I hope they fit, and I hope they turn out to be what I really am looking for, because starting all over again from the drawing board doesn't sound like fun. This is the last piece of the puzzle in terms of my gear. Everything else I have is very good quality stuff that will last me forever. I lucked out on my glove and blocker and got pro stock on insanely good sale. No need to replace them any time in the near or distant future. So this should hold me for a good long time.

Yay gear. :)

Oh, goalie...

My holiday weekend started off with a round of open hockey today. I saw a former team-mate there who I haven't seen in a while, so that was pretty cool. What wasn't cool was that he said the reason he could come to this time slot was that he'd been laid off. And what was also not cool was that it was one of my poorer showings of late, at least one particular shift was.

Ok. Here's a secret. I have never mentioned this to anyone because it's embarassing and makes me look really stupid. I hate switching sides in open hockey, because I always have trouble remembering who's on my side. There. Pretty dumb, right? The guys coming at you with the puck aren't on your side, dumbass. But I think what happens is, whoever I play for first gets imprinted on my brain as "my team" and it's hard to make the jump to the other side without literally reminding myself every minute or so when I first switch that those are the "bad guys" now. Usually it doesn't affect my play because my brain manages to catch up just in time. And this lag usually lasts only for the first few minutes. Not today. I started out on the dark team. Everything went pretty well, even though that end of the ice was a total shooting gallery. Then I switched sides for my next 15 minute shift (3 other goalies today, so shorter shifts). When I got into the net I told myself "Ok. The dark guys are your enemy". Unfortunately about halfway through my shift, with play in the other end, the puck ended up coming down into my zone. I saw a guy flying down to get it but knew I could get there first. So I skated about halfway to the blue line, stopped it, and passed it to him. As his dark burgundy jersey passed me I thought to myself "well jeez if you were just going to go take it behind the net I wouldn't have come out to.... oh."

I skated back to the crease in time to retrieve the puck from the net on its way back out from the force of the guy's shot. A (light-jerseyed) teammate met me there and looked at me and said "it's ok if you turn it over, just get back and play some fucking goal". Ouch. I managed to say "I got confused...." but stopped, figuring it was better if he thought I just turned it over, than if he knew that for some reason I'd forgotten that dark wasn't my team. I heard other guys on the ice saying "what the hell was that all about?". Ooops.

Fortunately I managed to make some really good saves on my next shift... back on the dark side again. And the light guys had the majority of the speedy awesome stickhandlers, so I felt pretty good about that. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I shut them out. But I felt more comfortable and made better decisions over there. Like not handing the puck to the opposition on a silver platter.

The college guys are back

A few days ago I went out for open hockey, making sure to get there nice and early because I had a feeling it would be a popular time. There was one other goalie signed in when I got there, so I signed my name and went off to watch the kids playing before I changed. It was a short session, only an hour and 20 minutes, so I was a little disappointed to find three other goalies waiting to get on the ice when the time finally came. One however said he was going to leave halfway through, so that helped a little bit.

Imagine my surprise when warming up, I noticed a fifth goalie standing around on the boards waiting for his turn. Now, every place I’ve ever been for open hockey limits the number of goalies to four. With four goalies you can take shifts and still get some decent playing time but anything more than that is just flat out ridiculous. Please note that I have only been playing ice hockey for a year, and I am aware of this practice. Enter Kid With Awesome Pads (more on those later). With the planning-to-leave-early goalie already on the bench, the rest of us conferred as to what to do. All of us but Kid pointed out that we had signed in- Kid played dumb and pretended he didn’t know you were supposed to do that. He was probably college age. And judging by his play, he’s no stranger to rinks, and certainly knows open hockey is limited to 4 goalies. I’m sure he just looked at the list, saw 4 names and decided to head to the locker rooms anyway. Fortunately, he offered to stay on the bench until the other guy left, and then he’d jump into the rotation. Fair enough. And he was good enough to actually do that, too.

What cracked me up was about 10 minutes before the other guy left, the gal from the front desk came into the rink, opened one of the doors and yelled “GOALIES!!!” The game came to a screeching halt, and 20+ skaters crowded around her at the door, us goalies lumbering over behind them. She read off the four names on the list, we raised our hands when called, and she fixed Kid with a stony look and told him he had to leave. He explained how we’d resolved the issue and she let him stay. I got a huge kick out of all the skaters crowded around to see who was going to “get in trouble”.

Speaking of the skaters... A large portion of them had helmets and/or practice jerseys from a college team. And man, was it fast. It was absolutely exhilarating, to be perfectly frank. I loved it, after I got over my initial nervousness. Fortunately, I was on the end of the ice with a lot less shots. Even so, I did really well against them. On my first shift I didn’t allow any goals at all, and on the second shift, I allowed 2 that I probably should have had, but I got back into the swing of things. Stopping one particular player on a breakaway was gratifying, because he is one of the four ringers on a team in our instructional league. Funny how he was keeping up just fine with the college guys, if he’s in the instructional league…

And here’s the part where I totally geek out, so feel free to skip this part if you’re not a goalie. Ok, Kid With Awesome Pads. They’re only Awesome Pads because they’re the ones I’d buy if I had $1500 lying around. And they’re only the ones I’d buy because I’m a marketing whore and some of my favorite goalies wear them. Ok, that’s not entirely true. Lundqvist is my favorite of any of them and there’s no way I’d want the pads he wears. So I’m not a complete marketing whore. I do know what I want in a pad, and flat straight boards aren’t it. Someday I’ll try one on just to see if it really is what I want, or if I’m responding to what I see people I admire wearing. But beyond that, Kid had my attention for his style of play. He was a completely pure 100% butterfly ‘tender. I swear he could have been trained by Francois Allaire himself. His style was textbook-perfect and it was really cool to watch. It also made me realize how few goalies are pure butterfly goalies- and probably with good reason. Personally I think a hybrid style gives you more options and more success but that was just damn cool to watch, seeing him execute moves I’ve read about perfectly.

There may be a chance for me to get Awesome Pads though. On June 11th, a committee is meeting to discuss further trimming of goalie equipment. If these pads end up not conforming to the new standards (mostly having to do with thigh rises and knee blocks, in terms of pads anyway), they’ll have to find a way to get rid of all the ones that are already made, won’t they. And that means prices will drop… a lot. I’m not kidding myself, I know they won’t make me play better. But mine are starting to get beat up so it’s not out of the question that I might need new ones by next year or so. Cross your fingers for new standards, folks. Hey, even as a goalie myself I think the thigh rises right now are pretty ridiculous. See: Henrik Lundqvist.

Raqs Hockey

The ancient and beautiful art of bellydance is known in Ararbic as "raqs sharqi" (or "raqs baladi"... or lots of other combinations depending on the style). How do I know this? Because I used to bellydance. In my past life, before goaltending, I was a fervent devotee of the art, though my passion for goaltending far eclipses my former passion for dance, which I didn't think was possible. I still keep in touch with a few of the women who were in my dance troupe, and I still have the desert rhythms in my blood. I will never lose that- it was the music that drew me to it in the first place. A quick scan of my iPod will reveal a lot of electronica, industrial, rock... and Arabic pop and classical music.

Understandably, a lot of my friends, both in the dance community and otherwise, were completely perplexed when I quit dance and then several months later started playing hockey. It's not a common or natural progression. At least... not at first glance. But I've discovered a key similarity between that jewel of the Nile and stopping pucks. Isolation. It hit me a while ago, when working with my coach on the problem that's been dogging me for about a month. In his search to find a new way to explain what I should do, he told me to think of the top half and bottom half of my body as two entirely separate parts; my hips and legs have to move one way and my shoulders and arms have to move in another, opposite, direction. When he said that I almost blurted out "It's just like bellydancing!", but wisely decided not to open that can of worms. (Though lets be real. He's a goalie coach. He's probably used to hearing weird things come out of his students' mouths.) But the fact remains, it is just like bellydancing. When you're shimmying your hips faster than a washing machine agitator while simultaneously moving your arms and hands in the graceful arcs known as "snake-arms", isolation is the key.

Perhaps that is what I need to keep in mind to work through this strange mental block I have on this one technique. I need to remember "it's just like bellydancing". That might result in some rather odd saves though.... I can just see it now. "Figure-eight-hip-save and a beaut!"

Case in point

I played this weekend with a group I don't normally play with, and for good reason. They're like lightning. Not as fast as those college guys I found myself facing back in January but faster than the guys I usually play open hockey with. Besides me, there was only one other goalie, but two full benches of skaters, and all of them were flying. I was very low on energy for some reason, so on top of being way below their level, I also wasn't at the top of my game. So I have a feeling I made a fool of myself. But I had to keep reminding myself of the open hockey credo: even a crappy goalie is better than no goalie at all. The other goalie was really good. I was surprised it took as long as it did for them to switch up goalies, so the team that was eating me alive could actually have someone decent to shoot on.

They weren't jerks, and they weren't toying with me, which is all I can ask for in that situation. But I just flat out wasn't quick enough to keep up with them. One guy in particular just scored on me at will. He'd come flying in (not sure what was up with the D... I think they didnt' want to put much effort in because I was stinking the place up- they just let this guy walk in over and over) and fake me out and put it in the net. I resolved to stick with him but each time I ended up biting too soon. Or, he'd come in as part of a 2 on 1 and I'd square up to the puck carrier, and he'd pass it to the other guy and I'd be halfway across the crease and the puck was behind me. So in some cases, I think I was doing the right thing, just not quick enough. There were other cases where I definitely screwed up- dropped my shoulder, dropped my blocker, didn't have my stick in front of the 5 hole while stretching out to go across the crease... etc. But the bottom line is, these guys were just a lot faster than I was, and a lot more talented.

Once I switched sides I played a little better. For whatever reason, the D was tighter on that side, even though their forwards were flying. I honestly had the feeling that the D in front of me for the first half wasn't trying all that hard, because they thought I wasn't trying hard. Like they felt like "why should we care if she doesn't?". That's pure conjecture but it was the feeling I got. There was even one time when there were 3 opposing forwards set up in front of my net and no one from my side anywhere near me/them.

I didn't know anyone there, but there was one guy who apparently knew me. (A lot of times that happens- I don't generally see faces while playing. Besides the full cages a lot of them wear, I'm not looking at faces anyway. If someone wears the same jersey all the time, I'll recognize him. But for the most part I don't know who I'm playing with unless they actually say something to me during warmups or in the course of the game.) While we were waiting to get on the ice he said "Oh, I remember you!" I asked if that was a good thing or a bad thing and he said it was a good thing- the last time he played with me I played well. Well good thing, because I sucked this time. He played D on the side I played on for the second half and was pretty supportive. He was an older guy and kept giving me the "atta girl!" when I made a save or covered the puck in the nick of time. It would annoy me from anyone else, but he was clearly being supportive, and I guess it's just a generational thing. I mean, he was so old his helmet looked like a pasta strainer. ;)

Again, no one was a dick to me, which has happened in this particular session on other occasions, but I was clearly out of my league. Oh well, at least I got ice time. I changed as fast as I could and got the heck out of there afterwards, so I wouldn't run into any of them in the hall.

It'll be nice to get back to my "usual" groups; instructional league early this week, and open hockey later on in the week. At least I feel somewhat useful there.

More growing pains

I've been letting something simmer in the back of my mind for the last month or so, because that is how I make decisions the best. Sleep on it, let it hang out there, get comfy, share some wine with my other thoughts, and eventually an answer will come to me.


I have had a blast in the instructional league. But a few things are pointing to the fact that it might be time for me to try moving up a level. I've been busy avoiding this idea for a while because it means leaving my friends. The idea was first posed to me by my coach. I asked him one morning why it was that I could kick ass in open hockey, and then be just mediocre when I played in my instructional league games. (This was after a particularly frustrating night in the league where I just wasn't myself, and let in a few goals I should have stopped without a problem, and two days before that I'd stood on my head against some really skilled guys in an open hockey match). He told me it was his experience that goalies who play at two different levels actually end up hurting their game in both- that going back and forth takes its toll on your reflexes and your mind. I instantly balked at the idea- I love playing with my friends. And with the insight of a member on a goalie message board I realized that each type of game fulfills different needs for me: the open hockey is good for speed and reacting without thinking, and the league I'm in is good for socializing and can be another form of a challenge. Namely, specifically recognizing that the shots are slower and challenging yourself not to think about each shot, whereas in open hockey I don't have time to think.

So for a while that was fine with me. Each level had different plusses and minuses. But now my coach has mentioned several times that it's time for me to move on. And each time I panic thinking "but I have so much fun and don't want to leave my friends!". Until the last few weeks. A big eye-opener was one game in which I thought I didn't face many shots at all, and actually was kind of bored out there. I later found out I'd turned away 19 of 21 shots, which was a lot more than I'd thought I'd had. And then the next week.... again I found myself bored while on the ice. I want to make it very clear that this is not a criticsm of my team-mates' or opponents skill level at all. (And I don't think I'm hot shit or anything either- I realize I'm the only one out of all of us taking private lessons. If I wasn't getting any better, that would be pretty sad). I think where its coming from is revelling in the speed and intensity of the open hockey games and becoming accustomed to the rush that provides. But I wonder how I can think it's time to move up when I'm certainly not shutting them out by any means (ha ha see the last game, 7-2). I also know for a fact, based on someone else's experience, that if I move up to the next level I'll get lit up every night until I hit that learning curve. And that'll take the fun out of it for a while.


And that's what's keeping me back. I know that if I decided to play in the D league next season, I'd be on a team where I don't know anyone. I'll be changing in the closet by myself again, instead of being a part of the comraderie in the locker room. I'll have to prove myself to the team and work hard to earn their trust and respect. I'm not afraid of having to work hard, but I hate the feeling of wondering if everyone's thinking "oh great... we got stuck with this goalie". Until I can jump the learning curve and prove myself, which I am confident that I can do, it will just take time.


I also was talking to one of the rink employees who used to be in our league and moved up, and he was trying pretty heavily to recruit me to try out for the womens' C team in the fall. The reasons I don't want to do that are for a whole other blog post, but I was flattered that he thought I could handle it. I haven't completely closed that door; I told him I'll see where I am and what I want to do in the fall and maybe I'll try out, but it's not an idea I'm crazy about right now.

So I'm not sure what to do. Between my coach, the uneasy boredom feeling I get now and then, and the fact that some of my team-mates are in fact tossing around the idea of maybe moving up, I think I should give it a try. But there are a lot of reasons to stay where I am as well. Fortunately, I have a while yet before I have to make a decision; our season just started and runs until the middle of June (or somewhere around there). So for now I'll enjoy every minute of it, in terms of the group I'm with. Because they're a great bunch of guys and the main reason I want to stick around. Besides, no one's tapped me on the shoulder and told me it's time for me to move on. (Except my coach. Who seems to have made it his personal mission to get me out of instructional league, given some comments at our last session.) So maybe I'll wait until/if that happens and let the decision get made for me. Though judging by the number of ringers on the opposing team on Tuesday night, no one's policing the skill level all that much anymore.

PS- I just realized this sounds like I'm always shutting them down in open hockey. Not the case at all. Once or twice I've stood on my head but more often I'm just about able to keep my head above water. But it's the fact that I can keep up with them, even just a little bit, that makes me think I might be able to handle the next level after I get my ass handed to me a few times. In no way am I trying to say that I'm on those guys' level (the open hockey guys).