Practicing.... in front of PEOPLE?!

With a decent handle on skating, and finally with a mask that fit, I was ready to actually put all this equipment and nervous energy to use. Goalie Husband brought me over to The Rink one morning when thankfully no one else was around, and I dawdled as I put my gear on, then skated around a bit, claiming the need to get familiar with my pads. In actuality, I was a little afraid to actually start attempting to make saves. What if I was horrible at it and didn't give myself a chance? What if I ended up feeling like a failure before I'd even begun? Goalie Husband called me out on my stalling though, and there was nothing left to do but get in the net. I reminded myself that I was determined to make this work, and that I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and that I had a lot of learning to do. Into the net I went.

I felt like a wobbly newborn giraffe, and fell all over the place, but I was doing it. I was on the way to doing something I had wanted to do for a long time but didn't even realize it. It felt great. It felt wonderful.... until I tried to drop into a butterfly. My pads were colliding at the top when I tried to go down, preventing me from getting all the way down to the pavement. I was frustrated, but figured that just meant I had a lot of stretches to do. It didn't even occur to me that I might have my pads on the wrong legs. I mean, after all, I'd read a fantastic article online about starting out as a goalie, and was pretty sure I wouldn't make the same mistake the author did- playing his entire first game with his pads on the wrong legs. Well, it's never too early to learn a lesson in humility. I don't even recall what clued me in that I had my pads on backwards, but thankfully it wasn't someone pointing and laughing- I figured it out on my own somehow.

Good thing too, because the next time we came out to the rink, there was a group of kids and teenagers already there, who'd been there for hours. I stood on the outside of the fence, looking in, suddenly mortified at the prospect of revealing just how much of a novice I was compared to these kids who'd probably grown up on skates. But as I watched the antics of the kids and teens on the rink and laughed at their attempts to insult each other, something happened. I suddenly realized what I'd been missing out on, not being involved in sports for most of my life. The same thing that had me longing to play when I showed up on that freezing cold February day- the camraderie. Right about the time this realization was hitting me, one of the older teens who sometimes played with Goalie Husband's group came over to chat with us, and somehow the topic had come up that I was learning goal. Someone threw a street hockey ball outside of the rink and the kid started to yell "Hey! You throw like a gi---" then looked guiltily at me and said "sorry". I laughed and told him I didn't care. Then someone behind him started in with the same kind of commentary and he indicated to this other kid that I was standing right there. "Hey watch it," he warned the other kid "She's a goalie". I don't know if he meant, "hey she's a goalie, she'll kick your ass" or "hey she's a goalie, she can't be that girly", and the fact that I'd only ever strapped the pads on and come out to play once before didn't matter- inside I swelled with pride. I'm sure I had a Cheshire-cat grin on my face too. "Hey, she's a goalie." I loved it. I could taste it. Later when their game broke up and I was dithering about playing in front of the remaining kids, the kid said "Aww, come on, we all started somewhere! Who cares?" and that was all the encouragement I needed.

I got all my gear on, skated around to get the nerves out, and then parked myself in front of the net. At first it was just Goalie Husband and our friend shooting at me, but the two kids (14 yr olds!) who were still hanging around started shooting on me too. I wasn't even embarrassed at my lack of skill or coordination. In fact, I felt grateful when they gave me little tips. I was gasping for air after 20 minutes, but I loved every minute of it.

"Hey, she's a goalie."

(Next up: Goalie pants are your friend)