Sometimes you just have to cut your losses

(Written 6/23/07)

I've always said (to myself, not that anyone else could hear me mutter behind my mask) that I would never quit a pick-up game because I was sucking. What I did last night comes close to that, though there were mitigating circumstances.

Desperate for some hockey after playing only on Monday this week, I went to a local rink for some open ice hockey on Friday night. I'd been to that rink before for open hockey on a Saturday night, and I was in way over my head skillwise. Still, I stuck it out, because that's how you learn. There were 3 other goalies that night, so I rotated 20 minutes in and 20 minutes out with a goalie on my side. This gave me a break from the confidence-shattering shots and the skaters a break from a crappy goalie. As much as I know I was nowhere near the level of play that night, I did enjoy myself for the most part, and by the end of the night I was holding my own.

The difference last night was the attitude of the players. Not towards me in particular, just in general. After an hour and a half, the ice was shitty and the attitudes just as bad. I decided to pack it in when I rotated out for a break. There were two other goalies, so I wasn't leaving my side without a goalie. And there was about 40 minutes left to play- I'm sure my replacement was happy to play all 40 of those minutes, he was quite good. The play had started getting awfully chippy, physically. I noticed on more than one occasion deliberate attempts to trip or otherwise entangle, all on the part of one or two guys on the dark team. But the thing that disgusted me the most was one of those same guys mocking a newer skater. One of the guys on the white team is new to ice and hasn't quite got his stride down yet. He skates with his ankles bent inwards (disaster waiting to happen, there) and sort of runs more than skates. He's new. He'll learn. Honestly he probably didn't belong there last night and neither did I, but he was there and that's no reason for him to be mocked. We're all adults, aren't we? (Apparently not). This fucknut on the dark team stole the puck from him and skated in towards the goalie, with the new guy in pursuit. The asshole actually changed his skating stride in an imitation of the new guy's stride. He got a shot off, and some people laughed, but I distinctly heard a few people call him an asshole. Good.

That left a real bad taste in my mouth, and when I got back out on the ice and was in the net with the constant 2-on-0's and odd-man rushes, the puck went past me more times than not. These guys had some insanely powerful slapshots, which my left inner thigh can attest to with a deep bruise the size of a puck (and growing). I think they were just too quick for me. And the ice by that time resembled the quality of the ice we played on outdoors after an hour or so- about a half inch of "snow" covering just about all of it. Not to mention the deep ruts in the crease. All those things together made me decide to just call it a night.

I'm torn about going back. I know that's how I flew up the learning curve in our inline games- playing against guys much better than me. You learn pretty fast in those situations. But I don't want to be the one everyone laughs at, or wonders what the heck is she doing here, or groans when they see her behind them in the net. On the other hand, if I'm persistent, I might actually learn something. It definitely was interesting watching one of the other goalies; he was obviously a much higher skilled player and it was evident in how quick he was on his feet and in general. I think he was there the time I played on a Saturday too. So if I do go back I'm sure I can learn by watching him as well. I just have to learn to ignore the assholes.