Goalie Butt

I love the "goal-cams" the NHL uses during games. As a fan it's great to be able to see the precise moment the puck crosses the line - or doesn't - and see the exact sequence of events on replays. As a fledgling goalie, I love being able to see the masters at work close-up. One down side is the occasional moment when one of the regular cameras switches to the goal-cam during a stoppage in play, or when the puck is in the other zone. At those moments, you get an eye full of nothing less than goalie butt- made that much more enormous by the unreal amounts of padding in the pants. Goalie Husband always teases me that I love that shot, because I get to look at a man's butt so close up. I remind him that I can hardly see what the guy's butt actually looks like, under all that equipment.

What does this have to do with me? As I stated previously, I'm pretty much built like a string bean. Or, I was. With the exception of one period of time during a lengthy illness, I have been wearing the same size clothes throughout my adult life, even 10 years after college. I'm not bragging, I think it's just a matter of a hummingbird's metabolism. Now that I'm in my 30's I'm sure that will change some. But soon after I took up goaltending, and dove in headfirst by playing three (or sometimes four) games a week, for hours at a time, my leg, thigh and yes, my butt muscles naturally bulked up. This resulted in the extremely perplexing and potentially panic-inducing (for women) phenomenon of none of my pants or skirts fitting me anymore. It was a gradual thing, but noticeable. I started playing in March of 2006, and by fall of 2007 I was literally holding some of my pants together with safety pins, unable to button them at the top. I had to retire several skirts that clung to me just a wee bit too tightly for appropriate office attire. Worst of all, I had to go out and buy new clothes, in a bigger size. Oh, the trauma! I jest, actually. I doubt the casual observer even notices the difference, and it's obvious to me that it's not a case of me sitting around eating bon-bons and getting "fat", but just my body's natural reaction to all the strenuous activity. However, there are times when the female stereotypes apply to me (as much as I hate to admit it), and I do have a bit of a fixation on what I refer to as "my giant goalie butt". I try to keep this to a minimum and of course never talk about it around any of "the guys", because locker room talk is lewd enough as it is, without it being aimed at my enormous ass. (Said with tongue firmly in....errrr.... cheek).