I have never been more insulted

Last's night's game was a complete joke. Not only did the other team have four, yes four players who were clearly D level or above, who played balls-out all night and I think were responsible for every single one of the 7 goals against us, but their strategy all night was also "run the goalie". Followed by "get up and claim that you're sorry and you don't know how to stop". I feel like a bus hit me this morning. I guess if you add up the combined weight of the players who ran me (I honestly lost count. It happened maybe 10 times?) it would be the same as a bus.

Anyway, I don't have time to run through the litany of things that made one of the refs the WORST excuse for an "official" I've ever had the displeasure of coming across, but the thing that had me incredibly steamed was one comment he made. First off, let me say that my goalie-brain switched itself into "Friday morning open hockey mode" when it became evident that the other team was stacked with ringers. I think I did really well. My posts saved my ass about three times, but at this point in the game we only had 1 goal against. It was about halfway into the second period and I froze a puck on the side of my net. When the ref came over to get it from me he asked me "Is this your first time playing in net?" (Now, because of a previous conversation with him about something else, I have a feeling he was not too pleased with me and was trying to get under my skin.) I couldn't believe he was taking the time to editorialize during a game. I fixed him with death-glare and didn't answer. He said "I asked you a question. Is this your first time-" I cut him off with an icy "No. But thanks." He responded by saying "Well I was going to say you're doing well is all." Unfortunately I thought of the perfect response after the game. I should have just smiled sweetly and said "No. Why, is it yours?" Asshat.

Ok. Maybe he wasn't trying to fuck with me. But you know what? I was standing on my fucking head. How in the world could it have looked like I was playing in net for the first time?! And on what planet is it appropriate for a fucking REFEREE to try to get into a goalie's head? Goalie-Husband thinks its a gender thing. I'm inclined to agree because later on, when I was run (again) by an opposing forward but this time actually drew a penalty, the guilty party started in about how it wasn't his fault, he couldn't stop. As he skated away I shouted back at him that if he couldn't stop he should get off the fucking ice. The ref turned and told me "YOU are going to shut your mouth!" Being a reasonable person, I did. Apparently he wasn't satisfied though and said "are we CLEAR?!" Um, hey fuckwad, I don't think I've said a word since you verbally bitch-slapped me. I replied with a very tense "Yep." I'm sorry, but that was completely unecessary. I've seen refs tell players "that's enough out of you", "knock it off or you'll get two (more)", etc. But "YOU are going to shut your mouth"??? Go beat your wife, asshole. I'm not your bitch.

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that we had 7 goals against. Maybe it was 8, who knows. But I want to make it very clear that although this ref and the other team made me lose my shit for about five minutes, that's all it was. I managed to rein myself in and was completely calm for the rest of the game. The last 5 goals (all in the 3rd period) had nothing to do with me being "off my game". I'm very much hoping that the team doesn't think I got rattled by the shitty officiating and the classless play and crumbled. Because I didn't. And I am also not placing blame on my team. I'm placing it squarely where it belongs- on the four ringers playing down about two levels that there wasn't much we as a team could do to defend. And I include myself in that. I just want it to be clear that it was their skill, and not my brain, that beat me. (Well, their skill and their cheating.) That's what's bothering me the most. That the team might think I let them down at the end there because I got stuck inside my own head. I know some of them will probably read this. But not all.... so I might send an email to the team. Or I might just let it go. I don't know though. It's one thing to let the comments of a worthless piece of crap go, it's another to be worried about what your team-mates and friends are thinking.