My 5'7", 16-year-old-boy-sized frame can be intimidating, I know. Especially to curmudgeonly 90-something-year-old refs who look like skating cadavers. It must be the vibrant life force that frightens them so. Even hardened ex-pros quake when I hit the ice. My foul language precedes me and they cower in terror.
Sarcasm aside, apparently I was a menace on the ice last night. I'd like to think it was because of my game (which, I must say, I think was pretty darn good... up until the end there. Again. Gotta work on that), but alas it was because of my mouth. Apparently hockey players don't swear. Yes I know, this is news to me too. Now, I'll admit I was in rare form last night, and for some reason let this ref really piss me off, to the point that after an 8-3 playoff win I was grouchy and full of the energy of unvented anger. I'll chalk it up to hormones and leave it at that. However, I still think this ref is an asshat.
The terrifying incident? After a goal that I still maintain should not have counted due to a crease violation/goalie interference, I looked up at the ref and said "how the f*** is that a goal?! He had his f***ing legs in between mine!" Ok. I'll admit. Not one of my smarter moves. At least I was just swearing in general and not swearing at him. That would have been rude. The ref looked at me and said "Ohhhh, goalie... you don't want a penalty do you?" Sensing acquiescence would be the smarter move here, I skated away, off to the corner boards to cool off. Only, when I turned around and skated back to my net, Dr Death was still standing there, waiting for me, and proceeded to lecture me. "That was incidental contact. It's the language I won't stand for." I think I deserve a medal (or a cookie, at least) for not rolling my eyes at him. He then skated over to the bench and told the coach for the night to "control your goalie". Oooh baby, look out. Potty-mouthed 'tender on the loose! Lock up your impressionable youngsters!
I don't care that he warned me. I don't even care that he lectured me. What really pissed me off was that I obviously conceded to him by skating away, and yet he stood there and waited for me to come back so he could have another 2 cents. Dipshit. Try not f***ing up an icing call, concentrate on that eh?
Oops. There I go again.
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2 comments:
How did I not hear about this? And how did both coaches not bust on you for this through the rest of the game and into the locker room?? :)
The Crypt Keeper is an asshat. Given that it is an instructional league, I'd have to say that he was hanging around because he wanted to educate you on how he reacts to language so you know how much of an asshat he is and how he'll hold it against you if you talk like that again.
Or maybe he should take a long $#!@$ walk off a short @$^@!# pier.
I am trying to remind myself constantly (before, during, and after...) that just as none of us are NHL-bound players, none of these refs are ever going to the pros either. On a good night, they stay out of the way. Most nights however, they are simply dreadful. If it rocks their world to make a point, skate away, then come back and make it again... well, that's just kind of sad. Maybe it's all some of them have.
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