Meh

Two games last night, two losses. For the QCats, it was our first loss in 4 games. I don't know what happened but we just didn't play that great a game. That one's a little easier to shrug off than the Hawks' 4-0 loss that came after it. It is just so frustrating to work so hard and see nothing for it. And I'm so sick of coming here and writing "but we all played really hard"... We did. But at the end of the day we've got another L in our pockets. It was 2-0 until late in the 3rd period, so that's at least something, I guess. But I'm tired of looking for the positive things, finding anything to look at and be glad about because you have to find something to feel good about when you keep on losing. But I don't feel like being a Pollyanna today.

As I told GoalieHusband, who was convinced the entire game was his fault because he screened me on two of the goals, at least we are playing. It's kind of shallow comfort though. Losing all the time sucks. You start to question yourself and whether you belong where you are and that doesn't help your game. I can't give an honest assessment of my own game last night, because I don't feel it was that great. The guys said I played well but all I see is that big fat L. And this was against a team that's comparable to us, i.e. not stacked with ringers and d-bags.

One good thing to come out of last night though was I finally got my QCat jerseys. YAY! I'm official! And they are really nice too. I thought I'd have a chance to wear one last night but we decided to go with the 3rd jersey (which is also new, but just not as cool because it's not so totally "official"). Now I don't have to remember which jersey I brought when I'm writing my name and number on the scoresheet before a game. From now on it's always the same: Goalie - 39. I think that's going to be "my number" too. When the Hawks order new jerseys to replace the rag-tag ones we have and get ones for the guys who don't have them at all, I'm going with 39 there too. Of course it's hard to think about ordering jerseys for a league that you wonder if you even belong in. The problem is, I think about half of the guys would be ringers in the next level down. Not trying to sound cocky or anything, just my feeling. And I don't want to be "that team" with all the ringers on it.

Whatever. We have a whole season ahead of us. Maybe hard work will start paying off. We could use a little luck too.