Of Hybrids, Goalie Pals, and Call-Ups

Hybrid.

What does that word make you think of? A smart little eco-friendly car? Or, as readers of a goalie blog, a goaltending style? Probably the last thing to come to mind, if at all, is a way to describe a female fan's experience of the game. But in so doing, my intrepid goalie gal-pal MsConduct seems to have opened quite a can of worms, if the endless string of comments is any indication. I'm referring, of course, to her execllent inaugural  (and extremely well-illustrated) post over at Backhand Shelf. The Bunny Conundrum, indeed. And it's not just those readers who were inspired to come out of their bunny dens and confess... I as well have to finally admit that I am pretty much a "hybrid" myself. I'll let her column do the explaining, because she does a fantastic job of it. I'll wait while you go read it.

Done? Good. My confession is more of a revelation. I've always been one of those people that thought the love of (and intricate understanding of) hockey and appreciation for the outward appearance of a player had to be mutually exclusive. I always felt like if I ever even indicated that I found Player X or Goalie Y attractive, all my "credibility" as a "real fan" would be lost. But reading MsConduct's post made me realize - it doesn't have to be that way. And the more women (and hell, men too) who can stand up and say "I can tell you about a 1-2-2 forecheck or a left wing lock, icing and offsides do not confuse me, and none of that is diminished by the fact that I am not a robot and can freely admit that that guy could single-handedly melt the polar icecaps", the more people will realize that the two viewpoints do not conflict with each other. I still get defensive though. The fact is I'm not watching it for eye candy, I'm watching it for the love and beauty of the game. But all of you certainly know that I know what I'm talking about, so admiting that Kari Lehtonen was my first Finnish goalie crush, and not only in a goalie-skill-appreciation way, isn't going to take anything away.  (And if any of you follow both me and MsConduct on Twitter, that cat has been out of the bag for at least a week now anyway. It's so much fun to share the love.)

Back in the very non-glamorous world of beer league, things have been pretty much status quo for the Hawks. We played again two nights ago, and lost again 6-0. I honestly felt like I had a very good game. But I can't reconcile that with the score, and the fact that a few of those goals were just really awful bounces. (Does anyone else hate that term? Saying "it was a bad bounce" reeks to me of excuses. Maybe I'm just a perfectionist.) One was a screen that even Kari wouldn't have seen through. And... one was completely on me. Yes, we blew our coverage on this one guy, but I had every chance to make the save on him. It just so happened that it was one of their better guys, who knows to go glove side high on me for an easy goal. Damn useless glove hand. But I felt I made a ton of very good saves, many through traffic, and many in tight. I even used the VH a few times, and although it seemed the exact right thing to do, and it worked like a charm, I still question myself now every time I use it, because of the bad rap it's been getting in goalie circles from overuse. 

We don't play again for over a week, but in the mean time I have two QCat games on my dance card. We've been practicing for a month now, and our first game is on Sunday. I absolutely can't wait to get back out there with the team. I'm really looking forward to the season; I want to pick up right where I left off before I got hurt. But before that game, I'm filling in for the C team on Saturday, for their first game. They have two goalies on their roster, but evidently neither one could make it to this game, so they asked me. Naturally I said yes, but I'm nervous. I'm sure I'll be fine, but of course I'm worried about making an ass out of myself. Don't worry though, as soon as I hit the ice - in both games - all that will be gone from my brain. Nothing to focus on other than how much I love stopping pucks. Come onnnnn, weekend!

Mrs. Nice Guy?

Practice last night went a lot better than last week's did. I left the chest protector untucked and made sure I had my water right there on the net with me and took drinks whenever I could; no overheating. I used the suspenders again, underneath the c/a this time, but they ended up slipping off my shoulders. I spent half the practice feeling like I had an annoying bra strap issue. Next time I'll cross them in front and that should solve that problem.

I wasn't too thrilled with my ability to stop pucks though; several crappy 5-holes got through, and I just felt like I wasn't up to my potential. For the most part the drills were great, the kind that are productive both for me and the skaters. There was one that got under my skin a little though, but I guess it's probably supposed to. Coach had us working on deflections and screening the goalie, which I'm all for. Several of our goals for have been of that variety, so reinforcing that battle level is a great idea. And of course having me practice establishing myself at the top of the crease and seeing around screens is always good.

The problem arose with just how much elbow grease I should apply. I know this is practice, and I always approach practice exactly the same as a game; if you don't work hard in practice, you're not going to work hard in a game. I had no problem jostling for position and shoving the girls around a little, but I held back on the ankle chopping or more rough stuff. Most of the time they were right on top of my crease, which in a game would be allowed. But one in particular was consistently actually *in* my crease, and manhandling me way more than would be allowed in a game (one would hope). At one point I looked to Coach after she skated away and asked if that would have been interference. He said it probably would have.

My frustration came from two points. Firstly, as previously stated, I have no problem being physical or practicing being physical. But I felt like I was playing two positions at once there; D and goal. The way I was battling with them was just like the way my D battles with people parked in front of me. Obviously, I should be prepared for anything and you never know when something like that might arise. But for the most part, am I really going to be having to wrestle that much? And secondly, I wasn't sure just how much to fight back, these being my team-mates. Like I said, I had no problem pushing and shoving, and obviously they expected that, but the one person I mentioned before I think I may have gotten a tad overzealous with. She was going at me with her elbows to establish position and feel where I was and I just gave her a really hard shove. Not sure she was too thrilled with that but I guess I have to learn how to say "oh well".

For the record, had I been doing this drill with the guys, that would never have entered into my thinking. I'd shove just as hard as I had to and not worry about what they thought. This is my own shortcoming; I care too much about what other women think about me. But I do not take well to people in my crease and elbowing me, practice or not, and I was not happy about that. Had that been a game she would have had a blocker in the kidneys. Certainly there's no place for that in practice, right? Or maybe that's what Coach was looking for? If he wants them mucking it up a little with their elbows (as he described before the drill), then what's wrong with me responding in kind?

I'm just not sure where the line is between balls-out hard praticing and going overboard. I certainly don't want to injure anyone. But man did my goalie hackles get up with all that crease-jostling. #NotAsDirtyAsItSounds

But on a more upbeat note, my "3rd jersey" came in and I had it last night at practice. This is ironic because I don't even have my standard jerseys yet. (Yes, it's January already...) I was thrilled though, because I was able to really custom-order the right size. The place we got them from had a goalie-cut option for each size. I'm really happy with how it fits, except for the fact that it might be *slightly* too wide, as the first and last letters of my nickname on the back are kind of in my armpits.

Have I not explained my nickname yet? I feel like I have but I just searched my own blog and didn't find it, so forgive me if in my doddering old age I'm repeating myself. Last spring the team went to a tournament in Massachusetts, and on the way passed a sign for one of the best-named-towns in the country: Belchertown. The gal I usually carpool with was instantly crowned Mayor of that town, as there is not a single practice or game during which she doesn't let loose a loud, ice-cracking belch. I wasn't along for that trip, but I did earn myself the nickname of Deputy Mayor at the next tournament, because I have apparently spent way too much time around guys in my life, and belch with the best of them. It's so attractive and ladylike, I know. So even though it looks liket he back of my 3rd jersey says "EPUTY MAYO", that's Deputy Mayor to you. BRAAAAAAAP.

Maybe there is makeup in hockey, after all

When the hockey gods tap you on the shoulder, you listen. (Or if you don't, you're a dumbass). Only days after my post about the opposing chick with her wads of eyeliner and mascara, @MsConduct10 alerted me (and the rest of twitter) to this. Besides the fact that Tuukka's deadly goalie stare froze me in my tracks, I found this article fascinating reading. Not only did it say the opposite of what I thought it would say, it also mentioned the makeup factor. Now I know what that chick on the other team is up to. She plays defense- she's gotta be using the Eyeliner Effect (tm). Written from a guy's perspective about playing against a female goalie, the article reveals that guys actually try harder to score on chicks (hello, no-brainer haha), to avoid that whole "beaten by a girl" stigma. I figured they fell into two categories: a) the ones who don't give a crap or b) the ones who condescend and "go easy" on you. Actually there's a third category which thankfully I've only run into a handful of times: the "women don't belong on the ice" category. But they can go scratch.

I figured after the makeup discussion about our last opponent, and reading this article, that chick might actually be on to something. I have actually always wondered in the back of my mind if that split nanosecond where the forward does a mental double-take at the sight of kohl-lined eyes staring back at him would give me any advantage. Being of a scientific mindset, I decided to test the theory last night.

And we, as a team, kicked ass. The other team was chippy, and by the time they were down 5-0 were really angry and consequently easy to beat. Not happy with 4 goals against... but in review, I think 2 were deflections, one was a perfect shot to the top corner through a screen, and one was the fault of my gaping 5-hole as I dithered about whether to push laterally or just butterfly block (couldn't read what the shooter was about to do). However I'm pretty proud of the final minute and a half or so, when with the score at 6-4 we went down a man and the other team naturally pulled their goalie. It was an intense full minute or so; the other team was positioned perfectly with 2 guys staying high on the points and 2 guys on top of the crease at all times. We did a great job defending against them though. I had 3 or 4 quick saves in tight and was really active with my stick and I feel that was the best part of my game. Eyeliner-induced confidence? Who knows. That might become my signature now though. Well, mine and the other chick's. No makeup in hockey, my ass.

Me? A role model?

For some time #14 has been telling me about his 8 year old niece, Kelly, who is is evidently very intrigued by the "girl goalie" who plays on his hockey team. A few times he's mentioned that she might come watch us when we were playing outside on Sunday mornings, but it never came to be. I've become curious about this little girl who by #14's account could do with a "positive female role model", and though I had the chance to meet her on Tuesday night, I unfortunately didn't get the chance to talk to her in person.

Tuesday night was another "matinee" game, and #14 said she'd be there with his parents, and he asked if I could go say hello to her before the game. I told him absolutely I would do that, but I feel bad that things didn't turn out that way. I was at the rink early as always- even earlier this time because I needed my skates sharpened. But when Kelly arrived I was probably already in the locker room, my mind occupied by the fact that Goalie Husband wasn't there yet, and worried that he might have overslept. By the time he arrived and I was reassured, #14 realized he'd forgotten his helmet, and went in search of one, and I'd forgotten to ask him to introduce me to Kelly. So it was that I didn't remember until we hit the ice for warm-up, and I saw a young girl at the end of the stands between two adults, the adults pointing in my direction and talking to her. I wanted to skate over and wave, but they were on the other team's side of the ice and though it wouldn't have been a crime if I skated over there, I would have felt odd intruding on "their" space. Besides, I was starting to get into my goalie-mind and wanted to take some warm-up shots. When we switched sides between periods though, I made an effort to skate over to where she was sitting and wave at her and tap my stick on the glass. She waved back, a little timidly. Naturally, they were gone by the time we finished changing after the game. But I hope she enjoyed watching and if she comes out again I will make a concerted effort to go say hi (and maybe recruit another member to the Union mwah ha ha ha).

And speaking of kids, I had a midly amusing experience when I went to the rink last night for a clinic. The group that was using the ice before us was a large group of kids, ranging in ages from pretty young (probably 7-ish) to pre-teen. Since we were on the rink with no "womens locker room", I had to change on the other side and walk through the lobby and into the rink area in full gear (including mask). Just as I was coming into the rink, the kids and their parents were pouring out, lugging bags of gear behind them. One of the younger kids' dads pointed to me and said "Look, this guy's a real goalie." He said hi to me, so I gave him the goalie nod, said "Hey, how ya doin' ", and grinned at him. As they walked away, the dad said, loud enough for me to hear, "Maybe when you grow up you can be a goalie like her". Just then, a precocious little kid looked up at me and said "Hey, where were you, we needed a goalie!" I didn't even know how to respond to that, but I'm sure it wouldn't have done much for my confidence to have a bunch of 10 year olds scoring on me at will. Wouldn't that have been a sight; the big awkward goalie facing skaters a third of her size zipping around like those mosquitos that "walk" on top of water. Actually, I think I'd have a blast.

Goalie Butt

I love the "goal-cams" the NHL uses during games. As a fan it's great to be able to see the precise moment the puck crosses the line - or doesn't - and see the exact sequence of events on replays. As a fledgling goalie, I love being able to see the masters at work close-up. One down side is the occasional moment when one of the regular cameras switches to the goal-cam during a stoppage in play, or when the puck is in the other zone. At those moments, you get an eye full of nothing less than goalie butt- made that much more enormous by the unreal amounts of padding in the pants. Goalie Husband always teases me that I love that shot, because I get to look at a man's butt so close up. I remind him that I can hardly see what the guy's butt actually looks like, under all that equipment.

What does this have to do with me? As I stated previously, I'm pretty much built like a string bean. Or, I was. With the exception of one period of time during a lengthy illness, I have been wearing the same size clothes throughout my adult life, even 10 years after college. I'm not bragging, I think it's just a matter of a hummingbird's metabolism. Now that I'm in my 30's I'm sure that will change some. But soon after I took up goaltending, and dove in headfirst by playing three (or sometimes four) games a week, for hours at a time, my leg, thigh and yes, my butt muscles naturally bulked up. This resulted in the extremely perplexing and potentially panic-inducing (for women) phenomenon of none of my pants or skirts fitting me anymore. It was a gradual thing, but noticeable. I started playing in March of 2006, and by fall of 2007 I was literally holding some of my pants together with safety pins, unable to button them at the top. I had to retire several skirts that clung to me just a wee bit too tightly for appropriate office attire. Worst of all, I had to go out and buy new clothes, in a bigger size. Oh, the trauma! I jest, actually. I doubt the casual observer even notices the difference, and it's obvious to me that it's not a case of me sitting around eating bon-bons and getting "fat", but just my body's natural reaction to all the strenuous activity. However, there are times when the female stereotypes apply to me (as much as I hate to admit it), and I do have a bit of a fixation on what I refer to as "my giant goalie butt". I try to keep this to a minimum and of course never talk about it around any of "the guys", because locker room talk is lewd enough as it is, without it being aimed at my enormous ass. (Said with tongue firmly in....errrr.... cheek).