Why pre-game routines are important!!!

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that a few weeks ago, I let my gear out of my sight and it ended up hanging out at the rink unsupervised for a while, prompting me to vow never to let anyone else handle my gear again. It was an innocent mix-up, but still, I was very angst-ridden until "eco_panda" came to the rescue, stashing it aside and threatening bodily harm to anyone who touched it. (Actually I'm not so sure about the bodily harm part. But knowing her, she did). You'd think that would teach me to keep better track of my equipment,  no? Well apparently it's not just other people I have to worry about.

I'm very particular about how and when I pack my stuff before a game. Any variation from this routine usually ends in disaster. Yesterday afternoon I didn't follow my regular steps and wouldn't you know it, I forgot something. Something really important. Unfortunately I didn't realize it until it was much too late.

I was half dressed, sitting in the locker room, when a feeling of unease came over me. "Something's not right", I said. A few people looked at me askance. "Did you forget something?", someone asked. I replied that I hadn't, but something just didn't feel right. Something about my gear. The girl to my right, who is new on the team, blurted out "Goalies!", then laughed and apologized and looked guilty. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was a goalie and I reassured here that I understood. Trust me, I know we're kind of out there. I shook off the weird feeling and continued getting dressed, and all was fine until I stood up to head out of the locker room and grabbed my mask, blocker, and .... wait a minute. OH MY GOD I FORGOT MY GLOVE. Panic set in. How was I going to play without a glove???? I ran (ok, no one runs in goalie pads... I hobbled quickly) out of the locker room and told GoalieHusband about my idiocy and asked him to check with the other goalie to she if she had an extra. And then I took off in the direction of the front desk in hopes there was some random gear lying around.

There was, but it was all for kids. I have small hands, but not that small. Someone suggested I talk to the guy in the pro shop. I was aboslutely mortified - what goalie forgets their freakin equipment? He didn't have anything either but offered me his own skater's glove. "I don't know if you want it, it's falling apart..." he said. I didn't care- the teams were already on the ice at that point, and the refs had waited as long as they were willing, and play had started. I grabbed the glove and headed back to the rink. I figured it was better than nothing, at least some protection for my hand.

Threadbare doesn't even begin to describe this thing. In fact when I handed the ref the puck after I'd covered it, he laughed at me. There was no palm. At all. The fingers were barely hanging on. It took every bit of effort to hold my fist clenched and by my side instead of holding it out in normal glove position. I figured I'd use it like a second blocker, Dan Blackburn style. That worked pretty well and that's how I played for the next period and a half. GoalieHusband had left to go to a teammate's house and get a glove from her husband, who just started playing goal. It was the 3rd period by the time he got back with it, but I used it anyway- the more protection the better.

The game itself was unusual as well. The team we were supposed to play backed out (which they do a lot) so we had the QCat "white" team come play. We split the teams up though, to make it more even. I can't even tell you who won or lost, because the other goalie and I switched sides at one point. All I know is, the other side pulled their goalie in the last half minute, and they evened up the score with 1.9 seconds remaining.  We went to a shootout and I lost that too. The first shooter scored. I knew exactly what she was doing too, but I completely overthought it. I may also have been slightly rankled because she did the Anisimov gunshot gesture toward me before she took center ice. I decided not to bitch at her about it though, because she scored. Not much I can say- if it was a distraction tactic apparently it worked. Still, I am pretty peeved that someone on my own team would do that.   I guess she thought she was being "cute", but I still think that's B.S.

Because of the holiday we have no practice this week. I've been on the ice way too infrequently lately, so I intend to make my annual appearance at the shit-show that is Thanksgiving Morning Open Hockey. That one's always good for a post-game blog post if nothing else.

PS - Here's a picture of the glove I wore for most of the game. You can see why I kept my hand balled in a fist!

Back in the 21st century

I was one of those people all excited about that new TV show "Revolution". You know, the one where all the lights go out and there's no more electricity? Being somewhat of an apocalyptic-fiction nut, I'm familiar with the "electro-magnetic pulse" precursor to the Endtimes, and was really looking forward to seeing the series. Nevermind that I completely forgot about it and haven't seen a single episode- I certainly didn't expect to be living it. But for the last 13 days, including a nor'easter and sub-freezing temperatures, I found myself wondering if I maybe should have made a better effort to watch that show. Or to at least prepare our household for an extended lack of power. We have no fireplace, and our range is electric, not gas, so when the power goes out, we have exactly zero options available to us for heat. (Ha. Ok, maybe not zero. Wink wink nudge nudge). We were however extremely lucky to have friends with either woodburning stoves or actual working electricity, who housed our sorry asses on and off for the last two weeks. We spent the first few days at home, but once the temperature inside hit 41* we grabbed the cats and headed for my parents' house. 

We are so, so, lucky. And during those few days when I really was losing it and having breakdowns over the slightest things, I was trying so very hard to remember that. We may not have had power, but we had a house that was still standing, and without any damage at all. Neither of our cars were crushed by trees either, as we witnessed just down the street, and played itself out all over our area. And while we were sorely inconvenienced for two weeks, here we are back in our house. Not like some folks, who won't be able to go back for 6-8 months. And now that I'm back into my more normal routine, I am going to find a way to help out others. But that really knocked me for quite a loop. I've never heard wind like that in my life. Ever. And that was only a category 1. But after last year's "Snowtober" storm (when we were out for a mere 6 days), and the myriad powerful storms we've seen since then, I think it's a fair bet to say this is going to be the new normal for a while. 

Lest this post descend into politics, let me get to the hockey. Ah, that's right, there really hasn't been any for the last two weeks. We had a game scheduled for Sunday the 28th (the day before the storm), but the wind was already picking up and a lot of rain was expected, so since the rink is right on the water, it was called off pre-emptively. (PS - that rink has since been destroyed). There was practice a few days later, but by then, getting gas was a 2-4 hour endeavor, and we didn't want to drive the 50 miles round trip, not knowing when we would next  be able to fill up. (We also both have quite a commute to our respective jobs). The one glimmer was the game down in Delaware. The white team had a game scheduled in New-ark the Saturday after the storm, and although I had misgivings about making the trip given the circumstances, I think it was what we all needed. Most of us were without power, one teammate had lost both the cars in her driveway, and people in general needed something "normal" after a week of insanity. Those of us without power booked rooms at a hotel and had a night of absolute luxury. (Truly, the ability to go to the bathroom with the light on should never be underestimated).  We played a very well matched game and ended in a 1-1 tie. My sister and her family came to watch, which was awesome, because they also brought me a "no power care package". Including a card drawn by my niece, featuring a bird on power lines, and rows of light bulbs. Yeah, it made me cry. You wanna make something of it? 

There was a practice scheduled for several days later but, oh hey, Nature wasn't done with us yet. Nor'easter time! It didn't drop as much snow on us as was predicted, but what did fall was very slippery, so practice was cancelled. (Yes, you can tell we don't live in Buffalo). And there were no games on the schedule for this weekend, so you can bet I'm raring to get back on the ice this week. To be honest, my mind wasn't anywhere near the rink these past two weeks, though the game in Delaware did turn out to be a welcome distraction. Now that life is getting back to normal, I'm looking forward to practice and games, and games, and clinics, and practice, etc. At least now I know I'll be able to wash all that stinky hockey laundry without a problem. 

A loss, a tie, and shirts vs skins

Hockey weekend started with a surprise party on Friday night for one of our own who is getting married. It was the most dressed up we've ever seen each other, and it was quite odd. The Mayor and her husband picked GoalieHusband and I up and we drove to the restaurant. We were all spiffy and felt like "real adults", going out for an evening. Fortunately, you can dress us up, but you can't make us act mature. The happy couple was surprised, and made sure to share some of their bacon-themed gifts with everyone. The bacon flavored jelly beans were NOT a hit. At all.

Saturday's game was much anticipated by all three teams. It was QC Blue vs QC White, and the Red team came out to cheer us on. I got to play the first game of the season for the White team, since Bacardi was in Rhode Island for the weekend. It was a blast. And even though we lost 5-0 (I swear one of those goals should not have counted), we played great against the Blue team. GoalieHusband was running the bench, and came into the locker room afterwards and said "I'm going to use a big word.... The score was not indicative of your play". Haha. He said "dick". It was actually a really fun game, in spite of the score. I made a few pretty decent saves, and my glove made a few saves on its own. Nice to see it's back for the season. Afterwards we all hung out for quite a while- I was pretty shocked when we left the rink and the clock read 1:00 a.m.

But two hockey related events aren't enough for one weekend, and we got up the next day to transfer the smelly gear from our car to Gionta182's and head south. To Delaware. It was a long rainy drive, but at least we got to listen to decent music. Gionta182 and GoalieHusband and I don't have the exact same taste in music, but it's a lot more similar than the general locker room population it seems. I'm not sure how the Golden Girls theme song became standard Blue team locker room pre-game fare, but there you go. Different strokes for different folks. Wait, that's a whole other TV show.

We played a pretty good game, but it was obvious about halfway through the 2nd period that we were pretty gassed. Our second game of the season, coming back to back after our first game, which was against our higher level sister team, had left most of us with not a whole lot in the tank. Except apparently for @pinballkillsyou, who hadn't played the previous game, but was skating with a pretty decent hangover, and managed a hat-trick. (Or two goals... depending on which score sheet you go by: what they called on the ice, or what they actually wrote down. #beerleaugeprobs) Even Gionta182 was somewhat subdued, even though she hadn't played the night before either. She chalked it up to getting the feel of the league, but we all know what the problem was: the pink tape on her stick. Breast cancer awareness is a great cause, but there was more than one double-take when we saw her taping her stick up in the locker room. She didn't get the nickname "#&(*)@!" for nothing.

That game ended in a 4-4 tie, which felt (at least to me) more like a loss. We were up 3-0 at one point, but they came back to tie it, and even though we scored a go-ahead goal, they pulled their goalie and tied it up again with about 30 seconds left. I played ok but I should have had that last goal, and 1 or 2 others that were screwed up bounces. Stuff isn't bouncing off my stick blade anymore, but in the last two games weird bounces off my blocker have gone in. Must examine this phenomenon. Practice would be a good place to do that, which leads me to.....

Last night. I learned a pretty valuable lesson too: one must eat properly on practice days. A day of very light consumption topped off by a Celeste microwave pizza and a bunch of BBQ potato chips does not provide much in the way of energy for practice. I ended up swooning in the crease and sat out a good 10 min of practice, stripped down to my shirt while my body righted itself and got its bearings. Fortunately I was recovered enough to participate in the Shirts vs Skins Scrimmage.


Yes, shirts vs skins. I certainly never expected to play a game of shirts vs skins in hockey, much less in women's hockey, but there we were at the end of practice, scrimmaging with the Blue team. After splitting up the players, GoalieHusband (or maybe someone else?) declared that one team keep their jerseys on and the other remove theirs. It was pretty hysterical. I was on the jersey-sporting side, but I yelled down to the other goalie that she had to take her jersey off too. She played the rest of the scrimmage in her chest protector. I was actually standing there in my crease just laughing, watching people skate around in various stages of undress. (Some of our skaters don't wear shirts under their chest protectors).

I'm off this weekend, as Bacardi is back and taking both White games this week. Next weekend we're both in the net; a Red and White game for each of us. I think. This scheduling thing is a little difficult to get used to, especially for someone like me who likes to have everything defined and mapped out. We've managed to split up all the games for this month and will deal with next month as it gets closer. I guess that's a pretty good compromise. So, no hockey for me this weekend. At least, not unless we end up at the rink anyway to cheer on the White team...

Season of Change

Shame on me for letting the blog go "dark" for a few months. But the old adage about absence making the heart grow fonder appears to be true- at least in terms of my hockey journey. It's been several months now since the terrifying night GoalieHusband's playing days ended, and since I decided to take a little break. I think it did me a world of good. I've come back from the time off with renewed hunger, impatiently straining at time's leash to get back on the ice and in the swing of a season again. I've decided to continue my break from the Instructional League, mostly for financial reasons. We have a kitchen remodel (of necessity, not vanity) looming over our heads in the next few months, so the more pennies saved the better. As much as I will miss playing with the guys (and with guys in general), it's something I need to do right now. And as it stands, it doesn't look like I'll be hurting much for ice time anyway, with the new structure of the QCats teams. This is another reason I didn't write over the summer- I had some very mixed feelings about how this season would turn out, and was hesitant to express them. But here it is, opening night of our season, and writing seems to go hand in hand with the cycle of schlepping gear, playing games, relaxing in stuffy locker rooms with a cold beer, and long road trips on Sunday afternoons. As such I guess I ought to welcome you to the new world of the red white & blue Cats.

Over the past season or so, our two adult teams began realizing that our numbers were swelling beyond the confines of two reasonable rosters. There are also several girls' teams, the oldest being U19, and we started to see girls who "grew up" in the organization coming back from college still wanting to play. It became pretty obvious that we needed to expand, and a lot of thought and meetings and organization went into how we would do it. Somehow I ended up part of this committee. I know, I know, they really had to twist my arm. The end result is that we now have three adult teams, two of which play in a league, and the other remains a "club" team. This is the team formerly known as the "D" team, which has been my team. The "C" team will continue to play in the league they've been part of for the last few years, and our new team will play in the same league, one division down. The league designates levels by color: red, white and blue, with red being the novice level, white the middle, and blue the highest. It's taken everyone a good month or so to get the hang of using colors instead of letters, but I think we've got it now. We're calling the "D" team the "red" team even though it's not part of the league, because if it was, red would be the level it would be in. (Technically there are several white divisions in the league, designated by number. Don't ask me why they did it that way)

Are you confused yet?

Red - "my" team, the D team
White - middle team comprised of some D players who wanted a bigger challenge, and some C players who felt this new team would be a better fit for them.
Blue - the "C" team, the young fast ones. Hehe.

Lucky for us, we already had 3 goalies amongst our 2 adult teams: me, "Bacardi", and "Dina". (The "Bacardi" nickname should be self-explanatory. "Dina" on the other hand, is not the real name of this goalie, but apparently that's what a lot of the girls call her because she looks like someone on Jersey Shore. I'm going to have to take their word on that one). Dina will play most of the blue games, and Bacardi and I are going to split the white and red games between us, with both of us subbing up on the blue team if need be.

Ok, admit it, NOW you're confused. Don't worry, it took us forever to figure it out too. Because Bacardi also runs the girls' teams in the organization, she ends up with schedule conflicts a lot more frequently than I do. Guess what that means for me - more games! Yay! For instance, tonight's game, our season opener. Since I think I've bored/confused you enough with league details, I'll skip the bizarre (but sound) logic that results in our blue team playing our white team in the first game of the season. Because Bacardi is away this weekend, yours truly will be in the white net, facing Dina and all the hot-shots on the blue team. We're making a party out of it, and the red team is coming to cheer us all on. (I have informed several team members that I expect their loyalty to be towards white tonight.)  Tomorrow white is off to Delaware for another game. That's one thing about the league that is a bit of a drawback - most of the away games are quite a hike. I'm happy about this though, because it means there wasn't a mass exodus from the red team to the white team this summer; the red team still has a decent core of players and although we lost some of our best, we should still be able to compete.

It's been a little bit of a rocky summer, figuring this all out, and adding in the emotional factor of splitting up a team that has been extremely close for the last few years, and people unsure of where they will end up or what the season ultimately will look like. But I think for the most part, folks are excited about growing the organization, and realize that this inaugural season will undoubtedly have some kinks that need to be worked out, and we just have to roll with it. I'm really looking forward to being able to play some games in the league with the white team, and I'm happy I'll still get to play with my buddies on the red team. Really, I have the best of both worlds. And tonight should be very interesting. Me and hkygrl12 vs eco_panda and monx77, with lct29 & cohorts cheering us on. There is no way this is not going to be a blast.

Playoff scrimmage

I'll be completely honest and say that ever since GH's injury, I haven't had much anticipation or excitement for games. It's not just my conflicting feelings about going to games alone. I'm in a different office now, 60 miles from my house. At this time of year with no youth hockey going on, we get extremely early ice times. As much as I bitch about 11:20 pm starts, 7:30 is way too early. There's no time to decompress from work and shift into a different mindset. Not to mention having to fret about getting there on time while sitting on the Parkway.

Last night was supposed to be the first playoff game of our Spring session. (Yes, it's still "Spring" session. And the Summer session apparently starts at the end of July. Only at this rink...) Fortunately I was working from home yesterday, so I didn't have the commute issue bothering me. And I found that for the first time since his injury, I was really looking forward to a game. Unfortunately it ended up not counting for anything.

Originally we'd had a bye week this week. All other teams played, but we and one other team had the week off and then an early game next Tuesday. The problem with that was that the second playoff game was scheduled for 11pm that same night. So if  we won, we'd have to hang around and play again in a few hours, while our opponent would have had a week's rest. I emailed the league coordinator and he apologized and changed the game to this Tuesday night. Apparently he forgot to also schedule refs and a timekeeper. So we set the clock and played three 20-minute running time periods of essentially open hockey. It was good exercise, and better than not playing at all, but awfully disappointing. Now I have to email the league guy again and find out if they're going to give us a make up game, and if so when. Bet your bottom dollar it's next Monday night, with another game the following night.

So, we have at least one more game together before that's the end of the Hawks. Senator isn't playing this summer and neither am I. "Cap" is going to play with @hkygrl12's team, because they are an awesome bunch of people. I'm glad she had space on the team for him, at least he'll be playing with people he knows. Senator will probably come back in the fall, but I have no idea what I'm doing. It looks pretty doubtful for me, with a kitchen remodel coming up. (We'd planned to do this next year but a problem caused by a leaky water line pushed the project up several months). At least I will have the Cats. And I already miss them all and want September to be here, even though things will be very different with the organization expanding from two to three teams next season. There will be plenty to write about there, I'm sure. Until then, I guess I better get my butt back to Sunday morning open hockey. Last year it was a ton of fun. I just have to get motivated to get up early and go play hockey with a bunch of guys way above my skill level. I know, I know, it's good for me. Someone kick my ass next week and remind me to go, ok? That is, unless we have a Monday night game and Tuesday night game scheduled...

End of an Era

If you're a regular reader, you know about GoalieHusband's concussion-related travails. In perfect frankness, he's been playing on borrowed time for some time now. There was a period of time about two years ago, after what was then the latest of his mishaps, that I very strongly implored him to stay off the ice, and he very reluctantly relented. After many months passed and he'd been feeling better for a long time, it was easy to forget why I made that request in the first place, and when he ventured back into open hockey, I worried but kept quiet, and the sky didn't fall. Then that wasn't enough and he came back to the team and played in the league again. For a while, things were fine. Then there started to be nights where he'd take a light hit and be dizzy. Then nights when I'd be the one driving home because an innocent hockey mishap, which happens to everyone all the time, left him dizzy and foggy-headed even after the game. Then there was the game when we were all leaving the ice after the handshake line, and he was still sitting on the bench, grimacing in pain, slightly disoriented, and had to be helped off the ice and back into the locker room.

And then there was three Tuesdays ago.

My disgust for what happened is causing me to consider taking some time off from this league. I'm getting burned out, getting tired of the unacceptable bullshit that is par for the course in that league (the more things change, the more the stay the same), just tired. Would the situation have been as serious if GoalieHusband didn't have this history of concussion? I doubt it. But that doesn't make what happened any more acceptable. In my eyes, anyway. And if I'd been thinking clearly I'd have filed some kind of report with the rink so that I could pursue it in some way now. But following a stretcher off the ice and trying to stay calm was taking up most of my mental capacity that night.

I'm not going to go into all the details of what happened and what led up to it, but the short story is that the game was chippy, and some back-and-forth between a player and GoalieHusband resulted in them both down on the ice, GoalieHusband facing away from the other player, and the other player sucker punching him in the head. Several times. From behind. Both of them were given double minors for roughing, and at the time he seemed ok. He finished the period, between periods I checked on him. I knew he wasn't quite right, but I felt like asking him to sit out the rest of the game was overkill. (He wouldn't have anyway). It wasn't long into the 3rd period however, when he took himself off the ice, and collapsed on the bench. Fortunately a teammate noticed what was going on just in time, and caught him and laid him down on the bench.

By the time I got there he was conscious (barely) and talking (slurring). We insisted on an ambulance despite his protests. The first guy to show up I guess was a campus cop, but he had some kind of kit with him, and put an oxygen mask on him since his pulse was low and he couldn't keep his eyes open. He was responding to questions, knew where he was, but it was terrifying seeing him like that. Eventually the EMTs got there, talked to him for a few minutes, and got him onto a stretcher. During all this time I'd been stripping my gear off at the bench, and ran back to the locker room for my pants so I didn't have to sit in the ER in my jill and hockey socks.

And our teammates were amazing. They assured me they'd put the big pile of gear at the bench into my bag for me. They brought GoalieHusband's clothes and wallet out for me to take to the hospital with him. And since I was riding over in the ambulance, they drove our truck over so we'd have a way home when it was all over. (I do hope the hockey gods took note of the fact that the truck is filthy, and was blaring Rammstein. That's a true friend. Although I did notice, when I got in it later, that the music was not turned off. Heh). When I emailed a teammate the next day to thank her for all she'd done, she said something really interesting: "these days, when so many of us don't live close to family, it's up to friends to look after each other". That really resonated with me, and not just in terms of my hockey friends. I'd been texting @byndblueshirts from the ambulance because I was scared and just needed a friend to lean on. I put a brave face on for GoalieHusband and everyone else, but I was terrified. Just having someone to reach out to and admit that to helped.

We were sitting in the parking lot in the ambulance for quite a while. They made me sit in the front though, so I couldn't really tell what was going on. I could see and hear enough to see that they weren't in any state of urgency, and could hear GoalieHusband still talking. I guess they were taking his gear off, and put him on a backboard and cervical collar just in case. (I found it odd that they didn't do that when they first put him on the stretcher, but did it later). Because of the long delay and lack of overall urgency I was kind of surprised that when we did get underway it was with lights and sirens, and a police car behind us. But by the time we did get to the ER, he was much more alert, more coherent, and talking more normally. He was still in rough shape, but nowhere near as frightening as it had been before.

They did a CAT scan and didn't find anything, so the doctor diagnosed him with syncope (fainting) and mild concussion and released him. He stayed home from work for two days, though it really should have been three, and gradually the fog lifted enough to return him to a semi-normal state. But it's been three weeks and he's still having headaches, light sensitivity, and fatigue.Everything's moving in the right direction; less intensity and frequency, it's just taking a while. The longest he's had effects has been 4 or 5 days, and I think this time he understands that this is his brain being damaged and he needs to stop putting himself in harm's way.

A few days after the incident, without any prompting from me, he said "I'm coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't ever play hockey again."  I never knew one sentence could make me feel so much relief and heartbreak at the same time. I loved being on the ice with him. No one ever defended me more staunchly (well, @gionta182 and @lct29 come very close), and it was wonderful to share this thing we both love. I think of how I felt when I was injured, a mere two months off the ice and I was climbing the walls, and I can't even imagine what it feels like to have that taken away for good. He's going to have to find other avenues though, and I think coaching is one. He's so passionate about coaching the QCats, and is thinking about going to get his 3rd level USA Hockey coaching certification now. He's also a writer; he's been working on a book for years now, a book that has morphed into a trilogy, and while it's not my genre (fantasy), I can tell it is excellent. He's got enough brain cells left to work on that and another project he's just been inspired to start, so I think eventually he'll be ok. I do expect some stages of grumpiness though, and that's ok. I'd be grumpy too. But as much as I love sharing hockey with him, I also love sharing the rest of life with him as well, and I'm glad that we will be able to do that. That was quite a close call.

Things I Learned At Nationals

It's been about a week and most of us Cats still have that giddy feeling, though the real world has slowly crept in to bring us back down to earth. But before all the magic is gone, I figured I should record a few things I learned.

- Walking through the airport en masse in your hockey jerseys looks really badass.

- My hockey bag weighs 58 lbs, though how much of that weight is sweat is unknown.

- Geckos do not like to be picked up.

- An athletic sock makes a great beer cozy.

- A Bentley convertible is a chick magnet.

- Manatees are very friendly and like to have their bellies rubbed.

- Having a lens fall out of your glasses is a great goalie delay tactic.

- A triple overtime game will draw every person in the rink into the stands.

- Eight pina coladas won't erase the pain of a fractured finger and severed tendon, but being a National Champion will, at least for a little bit.

- In a pinch, frozen broccoli can be used in place of ice cubes in a vodka tonic.

- Do we have the best team on the entire planet? Bitch, please.