I don't really want to dwell on last night's game. I've gone over the goals in my head and I'm satisfied that I know what I'd do differently on the 2 I had a chance on. Yeah... it was another high-scoring game, big ol' 6-2 loss. The screwed up thing is, I felt like I played extremely well. I was in the zone, I had attitude, I was making really good saves, I was even decent playing the puck. Oh and I unleashed my inner Billy Smith too.
I know I need to be meaner and protect my space better. Last night, I did it. Started with one guy who skated a little too close to me and as I was moving to the post my stick blade caught his ankle. Accidentally. But once I felt it I didn't do much about moving it out of the way. He stumbled, but didn't fall. I probably would have been called if he fell. But it was enough to interfere with him getting to the puck behind the net.
There were several ankle whacks to dudes who didn't get the hint from my D and move their asses. There was a good healthy shove to the kidneys. But the best one was the bide-my-time-and-get-you-back cup check on this one dude. Early in the 3rd the puck was frozen on the side of the net, and I was holding the post. As the whistle blew, Punkass took a good whack in the general direction of the side of the net, which meant he hit me square across the chest. I'm not too sure why no one else saw that. But I took his number, got my chance to repay him toward the end of the game. He was just outside the crease, starting to back in, and I could tell from where the puck was that I had a second of time, so as he backed in I got my stick all up in his junk. Oh yeah, he skated away. That *definitely* would have been a penalty if the ref had been able to see it. But hey, you dish it out, you're going to have to take it. I want Pavlov forwards, veering away from the crease because they know it will hurt to skate near it.
Yeah yeah, I know. Only in my imagination am I anywhere near that tough. Truthfully I'm a freakin pansy. But I'm working on it. So this video showing up in my twitter stream this morning was pretty timely. I've seen all of these before but man, they just never get old! (And there's Tuukka.)
[edit]*** My apologies, I forgot to mention where I saw this on my twitter stream. It came from GoalieCrease.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
LOOK AT MAH BELLY!
You know how you'd expect a friend to let you know if you had a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth? Well I'm a little embarassed today because I realized for the last few weeks I've been skating around with spinach in my teeth and no one told me. See, a month or so ago the Hawks got our spiffy new jerseys. They're really good quality, and they look pretty damn sharp. See? Here comes trouble...
The problem with mine was, since it was goalie-cut, it was way too long and came down past the tops of my pads. No problem, right? I sew. Easy as pie.
Except I forgot that whole "measure twice cut once" rule. A smart person would have put the jersey on their chest protector and figured out from there how much to cut off. Instead I just thought, eh 4" sounds about right. Snip snip snip. After a small battle with my sewing machine, it was hemmed. Ta da! Yeah. Too bad when I actually put it on with all my gear it was way too short, but still being very wide and drapey, the way it hung made it look like the goalie equivalent of a belly shirt.
I thought maybe it wasn't that noticeable. I asked a teammate or two.. "is this too short?" ... I guess not wanting to offend me they said no. Ok people. You've known me for like 4 years. You don't know by now to give it to me straight and not sugar-coat it? It's ok though, them wanting to spare my feelings is kind of touching. I've been playing with it like that for about a month, and I don't know why but last night I just realized how absolutely ridiculous I look and that maybe I should cough up the cash and get a new one. I emailed Senator to ask him about it, and it turns out he had just been talking to his wife about this very topic last night. (His wife, who is also a very close friend of mine. Ha. Tell me there's not a mind-meld going on there!)
Oh boy. Guess I was looking pretty silly out there. I'm not sure why it took me a month to figure it out but I'm glad I did. There's really no need for a goalie in a half-jersey. (Actually. I could think of a few that I wouldn't mind seeing....) It's probably nowhere near as bad as I'm making it sound (I hope), but you can bet your ass I'll be sporting a simple practice jersey until the new one comes in.
*Full credit to #14 for the photo. On the IR for 100 days with a broken ankle, he'll be hitting the ice with us again this weekend. Welcome back!
The problem with mine was, since it was goalie-cut, it was way too long and came down past the tops of my pads. No problem, right? I sew. Easy as pie.
Except I forgot that whole "measure twice cut once" rule. A smart person would have put the jersey on their chest protector and figured out from there how much to cut off. Instead I just thought, eh 4" sounds about right. Snip snip snip. After a small battle with my sewing machine, it was hemmed. Ta da! Yeah. Too bad when I actually put it on with all my gear it was way too short, but still being very wide and drapey, the way it hung made it look like the goalie equivalent of a belly shirt.
I thought maybe it wasn't that noticeable. I asked a teammate or two.. "is this too short?" ... I guess not wanting to offend me they said no. Ok people. You've known me for like 4 years. You don't know by now to give it to me straight and not sugar-coat it? It's ok though, them wanting to spare my feelings is kind of touching. I've been playing with it like that for about a month, and I don't know why but last night I just realized how absolutely ridiculous I look and that maybe I should cough up the cash and get a new one. I emailed Senator to ask him about it, and it turns out he had just been talking to his wife about this very topic last night. (His wife, who is also a very close friend of mine. Ha. Tell me there's not a mind-meld going on there!)
Oh boy. Guess I was looking pretty silly out there. I'm not sure why it took me a month to figure it out but I'm glad I did. There's really no need for a goalie in a half-jersey. (Actually. I could think of a few that I wouldn't mind seeing....) It's probably nowhere near as bad as I'm making it sound (I hope), but you can bet your ass I'll be sporting a simple practice jersey until the new one comes in.
*Full credit to #14 for the photo. On the IR for 100 days with a broken ankle, he'll be hitting the ice with us again this weekend. Welcome back!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Frustration and jock-flinging
I love my team, but it really seems like it's starting to dissolve and that really, truly sucks. Big hairy ones. Last night we had 8 skaters. While this was an all-time low it's certainly not far off from our typical 9 or 10 guys. And yet every week the other bench is full. It's summer. People are on vacation, people have families and commitments, shit happens (injury/illness). But all that stuff affects other teams too, no? So why is it we're the only team in the league icing 9 guys every week? It's frustrating as hell.
So yeah, we lost last night, but we lost 6-4 with only 8 skaters against a crammed full bench on the other side. That's not too damn shabby. I really felt for the guys too, they were absolutely winded. At the final buzzer one guy just sank down to the ice at the goal line. I guess it's because of their tremendous effort that I feel like I didn't really pull my weight. I was playing too deep (apparently- two shots in a row went right over my stick-side shoulder) and twice I wasn't quick enough to cover a weird bounce.
On the plus side, I had two really good breakaway saves... but that doesn't really seem to offer much consolation. I wish I had done more.
But since I don't want to be a complete cranky brooding goalie, I'll at least include some humor from the locker room. First off- you know you're old when one of your teammates misses the game because of prom weekend. Some of the guys actually thought Senator was joking when he ran through the list of who wouldn't be there, and said The Kid was out because of prom. I still don't know why that kid puts up with us. It's gotta at least be mildly entertaining.
And thank god I'm already married because I'm fairly sure that in some countries I'd be married to OysterBoy at this moment. (So named because of one unfortunately unforgettable incident where he'd bragged that he'd eaten a bucket of oysters that day... and promptly puked them up in the locker room after the game). I was working on unbuckling my pads when I felt something land on my foot. I looked up and saw OysterBoy's jock. I could tell he didn't throw it at me intentionally by the way he quickly grabbed it and shoved it into his bag while I laughed my ass off.
I guess that's why this team rules. Even if we lose, I have fun being around them, dick jokes and all.
So yeah, we lost last night, but we lost 6-4 with only 8 skaters against a crammed full bench on the other side. That's not too damn shabby. I really felt for the guys too, they were absolutely winded. At the final buzzer one guy just sank down to the ice at the goal line. I guess it's because of their tremendous effort that I feel like I didn't really pull my weight. I was playing too deep (apparently- two shots in a row went right over my stick-side shoulder) and twice I wasn't quick enough to cover a weird bounce.
On the plus side, I had two really good breakaway saves... but that doesn't really seem to offer much consolation. I wish I had done more.
But since I don't want to be a complete cranky brooding goalie, I'll at least include some humor from the locker room. First off- you know you're old when one of your teammates misses the game because of prom weekend. Some of the guys actually thought Senator was joking when he ran through the list of who wouldn't be there, and said The Kid was out because of prom. I still don't know why that kid puts up with us. It's gotta at least be mildly entertaining.
And thank god I'm already married because I'm fairly sure that in some countries I'd be married to OysterBoy at this moment. (So named because of one unfortunately unforgettable incident where he'd bragged that he'd eaten a bucket of oysters that day... and promptly puked them up in the locker room after the game). I was working on unbuckling my pads when I felt something land on my foot. I looked up and saw OysterBoy's jock. I could tell he didn't throw it at me intentionally by the way he quickly grabbed it and shoved it into his bag while I laughed my ass off.
I guess that's why this team rules. Even if we lose, I have fun being around them, dick jokes and all.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
So yeah, about those pants...
Funny thing about sizing charts on hockey retailer's sites. They're not meant for chicks. Since everything else in the universe in a senior size is too big for me, I figured intermediate would be a no-brainer. I looked at the size chart, which went solely by waist measurement, and that lil bugger said I should buy a size small. In intermediate. I wasn't too sure about that but hey, I'm sick of swimming in my gear. So int-small I ordered.
Annnnnd then I opened up the box. The much anticipated box, I might add. I was pretty excited about these pants. (Yes, it's pretty easy to please me. Buy me gear. Or beer, that works too, and it rhymes.) So yeah I open up this box and.... inside is a teeny tiny itty bitty pair of goalie pants. Like, I had to look at the tag on the inside to make sure they didn't send me a junior small. I really think these pants would fit no one bigger than an 8 year old boy. I should have known. If you have a 27" waist you must also have very short legs, narrow hips and no butt.
I'm not really complaining about the size chart. I understand that 98.55735% of the people who buy gear are males. And fortunately, Goalie Monkey's customer service pretty much rocks. I emailed them, explained my problem, and asked if they had any other measurements to go by on the pants other than waist size. I figured I'd just exchange them for a senior small and hope those weren't too big. But I got back a really nice long email from the head of customer service, explaining about size charts being based on male measurements, and the differences in females' bodies (um, thanks. i have one of those. i know what it's like) and asked me a bunch of questions and said he'll work with me to find a pair that fit. Figures, pants are apparently one of the things you need most to try on to get a good fit. Add having a girlish figure to that equation and no wonder I ended up with the completely wrong size.
And yes, it's this dude's job to make a sale. But he could have just written back and said "Yeah try a senior small. Here's how to exchange them." But he didn't. So, hopefully, even if it takes a little time, I will a nice snug protective pair of pants in my future. I don't even care what color they are. Well, as long as they're not pink. There's no pink on this goalie, ever. (Ok maybe my "fun panties" had some pink in them but shhhhh...)
Annnnnd then I opened up the box. The much anticipated box, I might add. I was pretty excited about these pants. (Yes, it's pretty easy to please me. Buy me gear. Or beer, that works too, and it rhymes.) So yeah I open up this box and.... inside is a teeny tiny itty bitty pair of goalie pants. Like, I had to look at the tag on the inside to make sure they didn't send me a junior small. I really think these pants would fit no one bigger than an 8 year old boy. I should have known. If you have a 27" waist you must also have very short legs, narrow hips and no butt.
I'm not really complaining about the size chart. I understand that 98.55735% of the people who buy gear are males. And fortunately, Goalie Monkey's customer service pretty much rocks. I emailed them, explained my problem, and asked if they had any other measurements to go by on the pants other than waist size. I figured I'd just exchange them for a senior small and hope those weren't too big. But I got back a really nice long email from the head of customer service, explaining about size charts being based on male measurements, and the differences in females' bodies (um, thanks. i have one of those. i know what it's like) and asked me a bunch of questions and said he'll work with me to find a pair that fit. Figures, pants are apparently one of the things you need most to try on to get a good fit. Add having a girlish figure to that equation and no wonder I ended up with the completely wrong size.
And yes, it's this dude's job to make a sale. But he could have just written back and said "Yeah try a senior small. Here's how to exchange them." But he didn't. So, hopefully, even if it takes a little time, I will a nice snug protective pair of pants in my future. I don't even care what color they are. Well, as long as they're not pink. There's no pink on this goalie, ever. (Ok maybe my "fun panties" had some pink in them but shhhhh...)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Mask test...and goalie pilgrimage?
Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend. 90 degrees. Anyone who's smart would be in a nice, cool rink with a gorgeous sheet of ice, right? Right??? I guess me and the 4 other people who showed are the only nuts who think that way. And one of them was another goalie. At first I thought, oh great 3 skaters and another goalie, this is going to suck. But it actually turned out to be quite the workout, because we set the nets up across the boards and the 3 shooters circled around and took shots on both of us and defended against each other. I honestly couldn't figure out exactly what they were doing but hey I just have to pay attention to the rubber flying at me.
And fly it did. One kid was pretty young, just graduated college. He had a wicked shot and burned me glove side more times than I want to attempt to count. But he was cool, not a jerk at all. He liked to flop down and lay on the ice during our breaks and I told him there's no napping in hockey. Haha. But the big success story (other than working harder than I would have in an actual game) was my mask. It doesn't fit as perfectly as it should but it's as close as I'm going to get without paying for a custom mask. And it's damn good. It doesn't rattle around on my face like my old one did, and I can actually feel it against my cheeks! I took a few shots to it too, and it even felt different. I guess the old one would kind of slam against my face when I took a puck to it, but this one is already on my face so I don't get that effect. (And yes, I know that's like, super dangerous. Which is why I have been hot to get a new one.) So, new mask is a win. New pants on the other hand.... not so much. But I'll bitch about that some other time.
And... brought to you by late night drinking... what's scarier than a bunch of goalies together? A bunch of goalies on a pilgrimage. That's right. Sign up here for your Goalie Road Trip. First stop: Finland. So far it's me, @TheGoalieGuild, @msconduct10, @abnmoose2, and GoalieHusband (he's an honorary goalie. he thinks like one, and would have been one if I hadn't enforced the One Goalie Per Household rule.) I'm thinking we could get into an awful lot of trouble together. Set aside the bail money now. Hey, it's a lot safer than Goalie Ghost Hunting.
And fly it did. One kid was pretty young, just graduated college. He had a wicked shot and burned me glove side more times than I want to attempt to count. But he was cool, not a jerk at all. He liked to flop down and lay on the ice during our breaks and I told him there's no napping in hockey. Haha. But the big success story (other than working harder than I would have in an actual game) was my mask. It doesn't fit as perfectly as it should but it's as close as I'm going to get without paying for a custom mask. And it's damn good. It doesn't rattle around on my face like my old one did, and I can actually feel it against my cheeks! I took a few shots to it too, and it even felt different. I guess the old one would kind of slam against my face when I took a puck to it, but this one is already on my face so I don't get that effect. (And yes, I know that's like, super dangerous. Which is why I have been hot to get a new one.) So, new mask is a win. New pants on the other hand.... not so much. But I'll bitch about that some other time.
And... brought to you by late night drinking... what's scarier than a bunch of goalies together? A bunch of goalies on a pilgrimage. That's right. Sign up here for your Goalie Road Trip. First stop: Finland. So far it's me, @TheGoalieGuild, @msconduct10, @abnmoose2, and GoalieHusband (he's an honorary goalie. he thinks like one, and would have been one if I hadn't enforced the One Goalie Per Household rule.) I'm thinking we could get into an awful lot of trouble together. Set aside the bail money now. Hey, it's a lot safer than Goalie Ghost Hunting.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Eat your heart out, Tuukka
I'm a little giddy because I'm at the beginning of FOUR WHOLE DAYS OFF and since I decided to forgo the Shark Tank this morning and relax instead, I decided to take Moosey up on his suggestion of taking a picture of the new mask - in full Eyeliner Effect. Now, I think Tuukka Rask has the most badass goalie-stare going (and I'll refrain from making innuendos about his stick in that picture), but I think maybe I might give him just a little competition here. Unfortunately, this is not what any shooter will ever see, as I have to play with glasses, but they totally ruined the effect, so I left them off. (Oh yeah that and if I ever actually got this dolled up for a game I'd never hear the end of it from my teammates).
So here's me having fun with taking a picture of a rather boring mask and sprucing it up a bit. This is what happens when your goalie used to be somewhat "goth" and wear makeup like this every day. Liquid eyeliner is like riding a bike- you never really forget how to do it. ;)
(And PS that's my beloved Ak Bars Kazan jersey. Figured I might as well feature that while I'm taking a picture. Two KHL championships in a row, bitches. ;) )
So here's me having fun with taking a picture of a rather boring mask and sprucing it up a bit. This is what happens when your goalie used to be somewhat "goth" and wear makeup like this every day. Liquid eyeliner is like riding a bike- you never really forget how to do it. ;)
(And PS that's my beloved Ak Bars Kazan jersey. Figured I might as well feature that while I'm taking a picture. Two KHL championships in a row, bitches. ;) )
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Finally, a "W".... and Mr. Inappropriate
I didn't write about Sunday night's game because, in a nutshell, it sucked. Everyone I talked to was pissed off/frustrated the next day. We lost 4-1.... in the first period we literally had only 3 minutes of even strength time. Lots of distractions about the refs and the other team's players. Whatever, it's over and it's in the books.
We played the same team last night and I think everyone was determined to kick some ass. And kick some ass we did. We played like an actual team, and everyone gave it their all. On a team level, it was a great win. On a personal level, I'm a little less excited. We were ahead the whole time, jumping out to a 6-2 lead early in the 3rd. That score stood for most of the period, until the end when we took a penalty. And then another. I'm not sure if the first goal came on the 5 on 4 or the 5 on 3, but it was a complete miscommunication and my D put it in my feet and an opponent tapped it into the net. Then there was another goal which I don't remember too clearly but I laid back thinking I was laying on it, but it was in the net. So, final score 6-4. Awesome to get the win, awesome game all around, but I'm mad about the last 2 goals. (The first 2 I was completely screened on.)
There was one kid who ran me twice in the first period, and whacked me in the face with his stick (hard) in the second. He was falling as he did it, so it could have been a mistake, but I screamed "FUCK YOU" at him as he skated away nonetheless. And then one of my D plastered him against the boards. Unfortunately he took a boarding call for that but it must have gotten the message across because the dickbag didn't do it again. In fact, after the handshake line he sought me out and told me that he realized he'd run into me a few times and didn't mean it and was sorry. I just said "ok".... I wasn't sure at the time whether to believe him, but thinking about it now, why would he go out of his way to find me and say that if he didn't mean it? This team is one of the teams we like playing, because the douchebag factor is pretty low. So I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
So.... yeah remember that new guy at work who was a goalie? Well he hasn't been there very long and has already made a few Inappropriate Comments. Both were directed towards me so whatever, I don't care. Today though, he said something Totally Uncool to someone else. One of our assistants is a young, vibrant, bubbly and friendly African American girl. she's a real sweetheart. She's also the only "minority" in our lilly-white office. She and I had had a conversation earlier in the morning about my allergies (she'd observed my pink nose and thought I had a cold; I explained that it was just a bad week for allergies). Well Mr. Inappropriate walks by at the same time she does, and stops in my doorway and says "So, are you depressed?" (As a fellow Ranger fan, he's referring to the Flyers' moving on to the finals.) She's walking away and says to him "oh don't bother her, she's got allergies". He turns to her and says, as he's shooing her away with his hand.... ready for this....?!
"Hey, this is a hockey question. African Americans don't talk about hockey. Well.... unless they're talking about that one goalie."
O
M
G
Me: What is wrong with you?!?! You can't say that!
Him: Ahh, she's fine, she's a fun gal, she doesn't care.
Um. Um... WTF DUDE?! Wow. I'm the least PC person on the planet but WOW. I mentioned the conversation to my boss, who had the same reaction I did.... but you know what, nothing will come of it. Because of the nature of our business and the way things work in our office, he'll keep getting away with crap like that. I did talk to her about it later and she said it was no big deal, she's heard worse. But umm.... that's like really not the point. What is wrong with people?
We played the same team last night and I think everyone was determined to kick some ass. And kick some ass we did. We played like an actual team, and everyone gave it their all. On a team level, it was a great win. On a personal level, I'm a little less excited. We were ahead the whole time, jumping out to a 6-2 lead early in the 3rd. That score stood for most of the period, until the end when we took a penalty. And then another. I'm not sure if the first goal came on the 5 on 4 or the 5 on 3, but it was a complete miscommunication and my D put it in my feet and an opponent tapped it into the net. Then there was another goal which I don't remember too clearly but I laid back thinking I was laying on it, but it was in the net. So, final score 6-4. Awesome to get the win, awesome game all around, but I'm mad about the last 2 goals. (The first 2 I was completely screened on.)
There was one kid who ran me twice in the first period, and whacked me in the face with his stick (hard) in the second. He was falling as he did it, so it could have been a mistake, but I screamed "FUCK YOU" at him as he skated away nonetheless. And then one of my D plastered him against the boards. Unfortunately he took a boarding call for that but it must have gotten the message across because the dickbag didn't do it again. In fact, after the handshake line he sought me out and told me that he realized he'd run into me a few times and didn't mean it and was sorry. I just said "ok".... I wasn't sure at the time whether to believe him, but thinking about it now, why would he go out of his way to find me and say that if he didn't mean it? This team is one of the teams we like playing, because the douchebag factor is pretty low. So I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
So.... yeah remember that new guy at work who was a goalie? Well he hasn't been there very long and has already made a few Inappropriate Comments. Both were directed towards me so whatever, I don't care. Today though, he said something Totally Uncool to someone else. One of our assistants is a young, vibrant, bubbly and friendly African American girl. she's a real sweetheart. She's also the only "minority" in our lilly-white office. She and I had had a conversation earlier in the morning about my allergies (she'd observed my pink nose and thought I had a cold; I explained that it was just a bad week for allergies). Well Mr. Inappropriate walks by at the same time she does, and stops in my doorway and says "So, are you depressed?" (As a fellow Ranger fan, he's referring to the Flyers' moving on to the finals.) She's walking away and says to him "oh don't bother her, she's got allergies". He turns to her and says, as he's shooing her away with his hand.... ready for this....?!
"Hey, this is a hockey question. African Americans don't talk about hockey. Well.... unless they're talking about that one goalie."
O
M
G
Me: What is wrong with you?!?! You can't say that!
Him: Ahh, she's fine, she's a fun gal, she doesn't care.
Um. Um... WTF DUDE?! Wow. I'm the least PC person on the planet but WOW. I mentioned the conversation to my boss, who had the same reaction I did.... but you know what, nothing will come of it. Because of the nature of our business and the way things work in our office, he'll keep getting away with crap like that. I did talk to her about it later and she said it was no big deal, she's heard worse. But umm.... that's like really not the point. What is wrong with people?
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